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Question
Hi I'm on step 3 in the IB process. Well I had an event happen today that really bothered me and so I connected with my inner child to find out what was going on. Well it went really deep, apparently when I was an infant I had really bad stomach pains and I cried alot. Well I guess I was left in the crib crying because no on could stop me from crying. Anyway I guess that's why I'm so afraid of being left alone and why I have a problem of having to be #1 in everyone's life EX: my boyfriend, and even friends I have also felt a twinge of jealousy and hurt if my friend likes someone else. Kinda like I'm not good enough or they won't like me. I don't really understand but what should I say to my little girl to comfort her and let her know she doesn't need anyone else. That there is no reason for her to be jealous of anyone I'm not going to leave her so she shouldn't be afraid of anyone else. Is this what I should say and any suggestions for other things to say would be appreciated. Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 06/21/09
Hi, I'm reading your book, "Inner Bonding". You mentioned, "The most important experience for . . . newborn babies is that of bonding . . . Extremely abused infants . . . [can] bond to their experience of a spiritual being." (pg. 80) I went through some harsh abuse as a child, and I've always marveled at my intense spiritual connection. I don't ever remember being without a very real and deep connection to the divine. Can you talk to me more about this? Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 06/17/09
I am finding that many times, when I try to "visit" my Spirit guide, that the experience is becoming more "sensual." What I mean is, I first envisioned visiting her in the forest. Now I find that I smell pine trees, roses, etc, and I "see" more details of the surroundings. Could this indicate I am developing a deeper relationship with Spirit? Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 06/08/09
I believe that the Universe or God is the totality of all things, both good and bad. We may not understand how it all works, but the Universe is everything, both pleasant and painful. My understanding for the presence of the negative is to give meaning to the positive. My belief is that consciousness or awareness arises and grows in the space between the positive and negative. So here is my problem. My inner child is very scared, and she wants to feel safe. She wants to feel that God is only the positive - everything that is safe, warm, and feels good. My gut tells me that I don't want to indulge in illusions. How can I give comfort to my inner child and still feel honest about what I truly believe? Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 06/08/09
Thanks for your answers. I have two new questions. the first one is about the communication with my inner child, when I feel this stomach feeling I know something is going on, sometimes is really easy to know what's causing it, but sometimes is so difficult. how long is it between the trigger of the signal and the signal? some times I have this feelings with no apparent reason. my second question. sometimes I am with other people and it's like I am distracted to communicate with my inner child to define what I/we want. in those situations I can easily fall into ego sugar addiction. perhaps in the future I can get in touch with my inner child more quickly but now it takes me time. if I dont have time to relax, then i just do eat sugar! i dont want to. this is really alike the situation with my daughter when she was small. at home I dont have ego foods, but at work I can't avoid it. thanks again. Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 06/07/09
I have always felt a 'pull' in my life to follow a spiritual path and to have spiritual fulfillment and meaning, and self-realization. For a long time I felt that I was sort of "looking for god" through spiritual encounters - I would walk around literally expecting god/universe to show me things and just show it's presence in my life. Many amazing things happened that felt very connected and sometimes "paranormal." I know this is vague - but I am drawing this out to contrast it with the subsequent 'push' factor. I have tried to balance my life by pushing myself to be involved in "opposing" activities, like business. At times, I was so focused on connecting with the universe that I let go of many relationships and started to feel very "out there." I was often afraid of becoming too "new-agey." Is it possible for someone to lose connection with people from being "too" spiritual or "new-agey"? Part of my 'push' has been because of that fear - is this a WS fear? Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 06/04/09
Hi, I have been reading books written by Pia Mellody and she states that one reason for co-dependency is the inability to believe in a higher power greater than oneself. she states that power is outside of us. she models her recovery advice along the 12 steps programs. I feel guilty because I don't think I feel comfortable with giving over responsibility to something/someone outside of myself. How can I find peace in not believing in something outside of myself? it's not clear yet if I really don't but the thought that I am less than because I don't makes me anxious. I have lots of questions as I am getting to know IB. I hope that's a good thing. Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 04/22/09
Hi Dr Margaret and Dr Erika, I recently read the book Courageous Souls, and am having some difficulty seeing how soul groups (and the plans of each soul within the group) relate to personal responsibility. For example, the guy who set the bomb that wounded another woman in his soul group. That action doesn't seem like taking responsibility for his thoughts, feelings and actions? Was it his soul that wanted the experience to try to wake up his wounded self in the physical realm, so that he could start growing his LA? How about if your entire soul group is codependent? Is that possible? Can souls within a soul group be at different levels of frequency? Are we scattered all over the planet and also some hanging out in Spirit? Gosh, I have about a million questions about this kind of thing, sorry! :) Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 04/17/09
I desperately want to feel some kind of connection with Spirit. How do I do this? I've never had this so I pretty much feel like I am blind with someone trying to explain colour to me. Can everyone do this? And, is higher self the same as spirit? Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 03/31/09
Do you think an 'enlightened' person is completely aligned from their LA to their soul (consciously living their soul purpose), or is it more than that? Thanks! Read the answer by Dr.Erika - 03/25/09
I was fortunate to participate in a retreat over the weekend and was struck by some things and by my own reactions to what was being said and going on. I was dismayed by a lack of emotion and warmth when the group was discussing God; it seemed we were discussing procedures, rules, etc. rather than a relationship, and I've come far enough to know that I want the relationship, not much of the red tape. The retreat leader pointed out to us that God is not only loving and merciful, but "just." This means that when our time comes to leave the earth, we will get what we "deserve." Since beginning IB, I've thought of this more as sitting down with God and going over my life and having, by God's grace, the scales fall from my eyes, rather than seeing it as judgment. Of course, we all would love to live in a world where justice prevails, but what would that really mean for us? How to think about this in the wider picture? There is an element of fear here that is not helpful..or healthy? Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 03/16/09
I am new to IB. I don't have a firm grip on the concept of the IC, etc. For the first time in my life (seriously), I have begun to pray. At first, I just said the Lord's Prayer whenever I thought of it It made me feel not so terribly alone (up to now, I've always been an agnostic or atheist). I pray silently while walking. Yesterday, I was struck by the urge to ask the Higher Power (whatever it is) to come into my life, make me whole again, strengthen my virtues and help me control my faults. I prayed for some way to understand and accept myself. I asked the spirit to become part of me, guide me and give me peace, and show me the right paths to take. This prayer thing is totally new to me. On one level, it gives me peace but at the same time, the demons and dwarves within me are grumbling and whispering doubts to me. How can I use IB to meld prayer with my recovery? Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 03/06/09
If we are all on a spiritual journey, and some of us reach our highest selves when we die and others don't grow (or don't grow as much) then what is the difference when we die? what happens to someone who has connected with God throughout their lifetime versus someone who has not at all? Read the answer by Dr. Erika - 02/27/09
dear friends, can you give us some suggestions as to how we can raise our frequency during the day? i've been reading dr. margaret's article about what can raise and/or lower our frequency, but i'm wondering about some specific things that can be done when we become aware that we're not connecting with Spirit. i find when i am outdoors or when jogging, i feel good and alive; perhaps that raises the frequency! but what about in situations with other people that may be difficult, or when under the stress of looking for work most of the day, or when taking care of another, someone who may be elderly or very ill and require a lot of our attention? i do try singing my "happy song" and that seems to help a little. is there any particular kind of music, any particular scent or incense one could burn, any particular chant or prayer or meditation that might be good? perhaps visualizing the health and life and joy one wants....? many thanks. Read the answer by Dr.Erika - 02/18/09
Hi! I've been reading a book about spiritual awakening and I suddenly had the insight that I've very mixed feelings about being incarnate as a human being. I've no fear of death at all, only the pain of death. I'm looking forward to visiting the heavens in Spirit form and exploring the wonders of the Universe! I like the idea of relationship, the idea of a demanding job and so on, but not the reality of them. I struggle to organise my physical world in a way that works for me. It feels very draining. When I choose not to engage with life and its challenges too heavily, when I decide to just "be", I feel an indescribable joy. The older I get and the more I do IB, the more this is the case and, surprisingly, the less I feel I need other people. Any ideas as to what may be going on here? Many thanks! Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 01/19/09
It has become more evident that my mother has reached the time when her body is beginning to prepare to die. She is not eating as much and is sleeping a lot more. She has less periods of lucidity. I have been looking over the hospice website and stopped at the part where talking with your loved one about their spiritual needs is difficult, yet an important part. Our relationship has never been close, nor has this ever been a discussion, not from my end but from hers. She lost 3 sons and has never wanted to talk about death and would leave the room if the topic came up. Is there anything I can do or do I leave this and let her resolve this on her own, is it wrong to not go there? I don't even know if she believes in God and I've never seen my mother go to church. She was raised Catholic and made us go and she owns a rosary. She leaves the room when religious songs are sung. She wouldn't even attend her best friend's funeral. Do I let it go and do what I want? Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 01/18/09
"too much of your soul energy is trapped with other people and in other places" Please can you tell me more about soul energy and how it gets trapped? Thank you. Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 01/05/09
I've been studying IB for over two years, and am just now realizing how much I've hurt others by reacting to "them hurting me" with blaming, shaming, withdrawal, etc. I am deeply saddened and remorseful now that I understand there is no justification for this behavior. My intent throughout my life was to be good; I just had no clue as to what that really meant. My question is: had I not become aware I needed to repent, how would God have judged me after death? Thank you! Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 01/04/09
How do I say goodbye to someone very special to me who is dying in a hospice home, but does not want any visitors? I feel I need some type of closure or the grief will be too much. How would I say goodbye on a spiritual level? Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 12/14/08
My mom is coming close to passing on and she mentioned it that she will go after I return home to see her. My dad also did mentioned that he will be dead before his birthday that year and therefore he wanted to have his last meal at his favorite restaurant the very next day. And they appeared to talked to dead relative just around that time. I wonder when love ones are close to dying, do his/her spirit come and visit just before their death sometimes. I am asking this because my son is behaving in a strange way and I suspect that he see spirits. I felt a hint of that myself. And do you think that can cause fear to a child when he sees it. Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 12/10/08
I am wondering is it possible to spend too much time with guidance? Is there a point at which it becomes escapism into fantasy? When I have been going to bed I lie and imagine myself in my sacred place with my guidance. I can feel such strong feelings of love and protection and warmth but because this place is all in my head I am worried that its not real and therefore not good for me to indulge in too much. Am I just worried about letting go because I have always lived in my head? Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 12/05/08
I was looking at a book this afternoon, "The Purpose of Christmas." I love Christmas time, always thinking of it as a kinder, warmer time than most of the rest of the year. I am Christian and have always believed, but it's been through IB that I've begun to form a personal relationship with God. This book says, "Grace is when God gives you what you need, though you don't deserve it and cannot repay Him. Jesus came to us as a human being to sacrifice Himself for the massive debt we owe because of our sin and the damage it has caused." I understand that we all need a makeover (need to recognize and love our Core Selves & WS), but I don't think we are undeserving; I think every human being is deserving. I'm beginning to feel confused about the Christ I have always believed in; I had a dream last night that He was speaking to me, saying He was happy to give all my concerns over to God's care, so I wouldn't need to handle them alone. I don't think He wants to condemn us! Why would He? Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 12/03/08
I have a somewhat unusual question, I guess. I seem to be able to see spirits around me. I've always had this ability, but I used to treat it as a product of my imagination. Ever since I discovered IB, I realised that what I see and communicate with might actually be real beings. They are not similar to humans in any way (when I ask them if they are human souls they just vibrate smilingly and say "nope"), but they seem to be strangely attached to people. It's like every person has an "assigned" spirit (a bit like a guardian angel). Anyway, sometimes when I feel lonely and I long for connection I ask the spirit of the person I would like to have a connection with if they would like to hang around for a bit. And they do. They always come and teach me something new about myself and about the person I like. After each such experience I see that person (human) in a completely different light. I see them as free, and whole and I'm able to let go of trying to make them responsible for my happiness. Do you think this is really happening? If so, do you think it is OK to turn to other people's spirits (angels?) for friendship? Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 12/02/08
Hi There, Now that I'm working through my inner issues - connecting with inner child is harder. There are less issues - and more practices. Is this the natural progression. I also find by writing in my journal - i connect the strongest with my spirit - but i find its only about once a week. I would like to practice more often - however there is little to discuss. How often should we be trying to connect? Because when I do connect - I feel so grounded. then after a day or so it goes away. But I can't establish the connection back so easily - until time has gone by. Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 11/19/08
As I understand it, if you are naturally left handed your handedness is being controlled by the right side of your brain. Does that mean you are more spiritually inclined than someone who is naturally right handed and controlled by the left side of their brain? Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 11/15/08
Today my therapist spoke to me about the fact that humans are creatures - created by God - and that we are meant to live like all creatures - in the moment, free and spontaneous, just as we are. It is our minds - anticipating the future - that cause us trouble. This of course, is not news for anyone who studies IB. But I heard it today in a whole different light. So, my question is...why do we even have minds? Why did God or Life give us minds? Is it so we can learn about love? But how so...can our minds enable us to love better than other creatures? Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 10/28/08
Dear Dr. Margaret, I just read your article on Spiritual Connection and Your Vibrational Frequency. I want to tell you how grateful I am for all your articles. Although part of me just instinctively know and do the right thing for my spirit, I don't always know what I did that brought me up there. Therefore when I fall, it is not always very clear which step I have missed. Reading your articles is like collecting gems, although we all already have the quality of these gems within, it helps to have them on the outside to better reflect the way in. Trips to your site is the daily spiritual journey I so look forward to. Thank you so much. Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 10/22/08
I've been hearing much lately about flower essences and crystals and stones which supposedly aid in healing. I love my Inner Bonding process and trust your guidance and so am wondering what you feel the benefits of these things might be. I don't understand the premises or how these substances work so don't know if they have to do with sincere spirituality and nature or whether they are really grounded in love and truth. Thanks for any insight. Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 10/19/08
Thanks for the insight on my mystical experience. I've seen the podcast of "My stroke of Insight", it was such a gift to run into it. I was filled with tears as I watched it. No word could describe that feeling, I was overwhelmed. I am often curious about how I was able to spontaneously experienced that. At that point I was just going where life takes me often without any plans or much money. I was a wanderer, like a child of the universe. I know one does not need to live in a cave to get enlighten, but being too caught up with earthly stuff does not help neither. I think the key is balance. I want to learn how one consciously focuses on being in one's right brain. I think I tend to lean towards being right brain. At present, all my actions and thoughts are focus towards bringing the highest good for myself and others. Sometimes I feel like I am walking on a tight rope - ya I slipped sometimes, but by learning how not to slip, I think one day I will get there and hopefully stay there. Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 10/15/08
I had a mystical experience many years ago which I don't usually speak about. I want to share it here because I want to understand it and I want to get back to it. I felt a very deep connection with this very loving guidance at night. I wasn't brought up with any religion but I connect it to Jesus. There was a lot of non-verbal interaction. Sometimes tears came to my eyes as scenes from my painful childhood came up. I forgave my parents and felt deep gratitude to them and people in my life. I pictured people I hurt and asked for forgiveness. I woke up every night after two or three hours of sleep and could feel this loving source beside me. I felt deeply loved. My days were filled with a deep sense of peace, in the deep quiet night,I wrote poems, painted and drew. Every morning I woke up feeling blissful. When I walked on the streets I felt so connected to everything. I seemed to have deep connection with the kids that I was teaching. I had been living life out of the ordinary prior to that. Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 10/12/08
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