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56 QUESTION(S)
Question
Hi Margaret Thanks for the answers to my questions. Look forward to having the chance to explore these issues in greater depth on the intensive. As a child I feel I was asked to conform so totally and accept what I was told and taught by the adults around me....also its difficult to argue when someone says that something is what God says...! If I couldn't accept something I always thought there was something wrong with me! Now I am learning to trust myself and my feelings about things more - thanks to inner bonding. You say a lot of these feelings and thoughts are coming from my wounded self - yes I can feel that as I feel like the walking wounded a lot of the time...still haven't been able to connect with a source of love...I guess as you said I won't until I can accept and love myself....
Read the answer by Dr. Erika
Hi Margaret Thanks for your last reply and what you said about the difference between shame and remorse. I know I am judging myself for not living up to standards I feel I should..... Does you mean that if I feel shame rather than remorse what I am doing is not actually wrong??
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret
Hi Margaret Thanks for your responses to my last two questions about God's love etc.... I mentioned in my first question how I feel a lot of shame, especially around living with my partner as opposed to having married him. This is because I was so indoctrinated as to the terrible damage having sex in the wrong context could have - it was very much wait for Mr Right and absolutely no sex before marriage. I don't think my shame is just about this though. I also suffered from bulimia which I think is so much about shame - because it is secret and something you never want other people to find out about you doing. It is also a behaviour acted out alone. The thing is I get confused about what I should feel shame about and what I shouldn't? If I do something wrong shouldn't I feel shame??
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret
Thanks for your response to my earlier question. Does this mean that God loves me regardless of my behaviour? I guess what I have struggled with is trying to do right and then not being able to do it and then beating myself up for it. I guess perhaps earlier in my life when I had been pretty good at 'being good' I thought I deserved God's love but now I have messed up in various ways I have felt that I am cut off from God... that is interesting what you say about the fact that if I don't love myself I cannot feel God's love or, in fact, another persons love. I totally recognise that it is my relationship with myself that is very wounded - and that I have at times projected this onto others. I guess this is about control....perhaps I believed before that I could control getting God's love by being good...but now everything feels 'spoiled'....
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret
Thanks for your article on spiritual abuse I found it really helpful. One thing I am struggling with at the moment is believing that God can be there for me when I don't sort my behaviour out. I was taught as a child that sin becomes as it were a barrier between me and God and that if I am 'sinning' then I cannot access God. So for example, before taking communion in a church service you had to say the confession and be sure there was no sin there otherwise if your heart was not right with God you were drinking judgment on yourself if you had the bread and wine. I am living with my partner - moved in at a difficult time in my life - I was desperate at the time and needed somewhere to live. In my 'right mind' I would never have chosen to do so.... I grew up with the no sex before marriage rule and cohabitation was a sin. Now I cannot access God because I feel I am doing wrong and feel so much shame for this situation that affects my whole being in the world and the relationship.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret
Sometimes, I wonder if believing in a God or however one wants to define it, a "higher something" and the idea that "we get what we sow" is just something humankind has made up to make some sense of this often cruel and unfair world? How can we be sure that it is not just something that is made up by humankind or a group of "esoteric believers"? I feel -maybe - insecure (?), because I do not want to believe in something that does only exist in my mind. My other question is: It seems that some people can have very happy lives without believing in any kind of "God" or thinking about any kind of spirituality or connection with others or nature. So why can some people live a happy life without any concern about this topic while others cannot? And it sometimes makes me sad and maybe again insecure, because I do not really feel comfortable around those people or maybe I should say that I do not really have the desire to spend a lot of time with them. Karin
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret
I have a question concerning spiritual connection. I see spirit as being there for everyone which means I have to share him/ her/ it with everyone else but I don't want to share. my selfishness may originate from childhood, I was the baby of the family and never felt I had the right to anything of my own, including my own space which always felt invaded. How can I get round this, I have tried to imagine a spirit guide rather than Spirit in general but I still have trouble believing that they are there just for me? Thank you
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret
Is one of the reasons we spend time with spirit...to know what it feels like to be connected with spirit? ...so when we are not in spirit and in the wounded self...we can recognize how it feels? Then we can self correct or do what we need to do to re-connect with spirit and true self, since the wounded self is false. If I do not have daily quiet time...I seem to lose touch with my spiritual self or true self. Sharon Gavin
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret
Hi, I'm really starting to form an understanding now of Innerbonding.When I'm content or experiencing an Indian Head massage I keep seeing my Third Eye. I'm a bit scared because I don't want to see ghosts (so I've heard anyway).When I'm stressed I hold my innerkids hand and then close my eyes and it pops into the middle of my forehead. This happened last weekend when I saw my ex with his new girlfriend. It was an unbelievable immunizing feeling.However this was a momentary feeling because the following day I felt a sadness that wasn't healthy.I keep seeing their faces now.My loving Adult is advising me to rub the image out of my head.I do and I'm ok for awhile.But now my wounded self's need to reason everything is telling me that to pop the negative thought out of my head and replace it with a positive thought is a form of Intent to Control.I'm full of doubt again.Surely I'm just looking after my well-being by doing this.Why do I doubt that wisdom is more useful than reason!
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret
Is just having the desire and saying "I have the intent to learn" enough to leave the realm of "control"?
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret
I have been working on self-acceptance by embracing the wounded parts of myself--responding with compassion instead of judgment. I know this process is helping me feel a sense of wholeness and peace. Recently I have been confronting the most resistant part that remains (from a shame-based upbringing) and I seem to be stuck. When I recently saw this same critical and abusive behavior (meanness) in my oldest daughter, I discovered that I feel shame that I may have conditioned her to act out in negative ways. I learned this behavior from my abusive stepfather. I haven't seen him in over 20 years and I have all but stopped being verbally abusive and defensive over time..but when I try to invite compassion and holding to this shame I hear my guidance saying, "Why can't you love and embrace this part of you?" I say, "If I embrace and forgive this part then It's like saying it's OK, or I'm condoning this behavior." I learned that it feels like I am being forced to love "him" again by mother.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret
I understand the importance of intention and that our highest and best intention is to learn from our guides how to better love ourselves and others. Why isn't the intention to connect on a higher level with Spirit itself also part of this stated intention? Thanking you ahead of time for your response. Will
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret
I just uncovered the false belief that I judge my loving is not enough. I also realized that I believe God's love is not enough. I relate this false belief to my father; he was a very sad man because he was sexually abused as a child. When I was a child, I always remember trying to get him to realize how much he was loved. He passed away nine years ago. I'm not clear on how I can work with this part when it believes that God's love is not even enough to shift, reframe or heal issues? I would appreciate any input...Thank you!
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret
Do you think fasting can be used as a way to facilitate connection with your spiritual guidance?
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret
I get confused with "let go and let God" in the context of controlling outcomes and having hopes/dreams for a better life which would be future oriented. To live in the present with hopes of buying a house, finding more satisfying work or a fulfilling relationship in the future, wouldn't I want to visualize these good things happening to attract them into my life? When given an actual challenge in these areas, how can I be more oriented to letting go and letting God?
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret
Last night I experienced my guidance asking me "are you ready? be prepared." I started crying so hard but it was not tears of pain but tears of relief and possibilities. Since returning from the Intensive, I've been very conscious of letting go and surrendering to my guidance. This has been my focus. It was a moment and then it left. Today is a normal day. Are these messages that I am getting from my guidance or my imaginiation at work? It felt very real and different. Thanks.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret
I believe in God but find it very difficult to trust him. How can I trust him when there is so much suffering in the world and he doesn't do anything about it? I lost my mother about a year ago and the grief has been unbearable. I miss her so much. I just can't understand why God would take someone I loved so much away and have spent nearly all my life with and had a very close connection. My life will never be the same again! I just don't want to be on this planet!
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret
My friend was raised by a very religious mother. His deep belief is that all humans are born with a sin and that we humans are too weak to overcome sins on our own. I also heard this often when I used to attend church services. I was always confused about this especially because I work with infants and preschool age children and know how innocent and pure and beautiful their core Self is. Could you please explain it to me?
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I'm wondering what is the source of nurturing for the inner loving adult? I feel like I'm able to be there for my inner child, but my inner adult (me, I guess) is awash in real sorrow about what a lousy parent I have been to myself and the mistakes I repeatedly make, and even now am pulled at to make again. I know it's not productive, but it feels like real grief, and i know I can't be the best parent if I'm this sad. Where do adults get their comfort and strength?
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What do you mean by spiritual guide? Usually I feel connected with the spiritual energy of the universe but I don't percive this energy as a person or guide.I percive it as light, is this light my spiritual guide?
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Am new to IB so sorry if this question is obvious. Am not in doubt that I need (and want) to let go and surrender to God. But, I can't get past the idea that God is poverty, austerity and suffering. Please don't laugh but I'm also convinced I'll end up in a convent. Intellectually I can challenge this but I have a deeply engrained belief of not a punishing but a sadistic and vicious God which overrides reason. I don't think I can begin with any sincerity while it's there.
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Is there a difference between asking your spiritual guidance for answers that revolve around understanding a situation and asking your guidance for answers concerning what to do? I feel like I've gotten wonderful explanations for things that resound truth through my whole body when I ask for explanations but when I'm making a decision about what to do (i.e. should I quit my job, should I do it now) I get conflicting answers. Jen
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Can we expect to be able to "raise our frequency enough to feel the flow of love, peace, truth, joy and wisdom that is God" regularly? Or is this a gift we get brief glimpses of now and again? If we expect this to be an outcome of our bonding process, we are not open to the outcome. Sometimes I have the notion that God challenges our faith by limiting this feeling.
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Dear Margaret, the Bible often refers to hellfire and perdition. If you read all this you might get the impression that God does not love everyone unconditionally. Were the people writing these scriptures acting from their wounded selves? I think it must have been this way. Marietta
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I am 25 years old and spent all my life in Hell (no love, just loneliness and pain.) I asked God (Mama) for the reason. She told me it was the desire I uttered before my birth when I was in the spiritual realm. I knew back then that I would find my way back to her without committing suicide. She agreed it was close because I might have killed my body last year. Could it be true that I chose 25 years of Hell because I knew my connection to God was strong enough to handle the challenge?
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Dear Margaret, today God (I call her "Mama") very often tells me that she loves me. Is it really true that God loves every human being? God suggests I ask you this question because right now I can't believe that she loves me.I know that you said in your God book that God loves everyone. She says I have to hear it from you that God really loves me with all that I am. At the moment I believe you more than her. Thanks for your answer.Love,Marietta
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We are very fond of our cats. I wonder if animals have a core self only. They always seem so well connected!
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It hurts to see people whose hearts are closed entirely. When they die, will they have missed the aim of their lives? After all, they could not evolve. Instead, they kept their soul in jail.
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Is the loving adult a part of my soul or does the soul only consist of my core self? What will remain when my body dies?
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Did God show us the life we were about to experience before we agreed to leave the spiritual realm? I am still very angry about my youth so it would probably make a difference. I have a very friendly image of God now and would like to know what your guidances told you.
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A Testimonial

Margaret Paul [in "Inner Bonding"] offers us a simple and very effective tool for healing our inner upsets and quieting the confusion in our minds. I recommend that you use this valuable tool daily on your path to wholeness.

Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.,author of Feel the Fear, Do It Anyway, and Dare to Connect

 

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