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Daily Inspiration

The avoidance of loneliness, heartbreak and helplessness over others and outcomes is often at the root of controlling, compliant, resistant or addictive behavior. It is helpful to learn to name the feeling we are trying to avoid. When we name it, we can allow it, acknowledge it, embrace it, bring love and compassion to it, and then release it to Spirit. Denying it keeps us stuck. Naming it allows us to manage it, release it and take loving action in our own behalf.

By Dr. Margaret Paul


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Sexual Addiction

By Dr. Margaret Paul
December 31, 2006



Sexual addiction is like any other addiction: it is using something or someone to fill you up or take away your pain. Whether you are sexually addicted depends upon the frequency with which you use sex to fill yourself up or take away your pain. In this article, a list of symptoms of sexual addiction can help you determine your level of sexual addiction.



Sexual addiction, or using sex addictively, is like any other addiction: it is using something or someone to fill you up or take away your pain. Whether you are sexually addicted or using sex addictively depends upon the frequency with which you use sex to fill yourself up or take away your pain.

Are you sexually addicted or using sex addictively? Identifying with just one of these symptoms listed below may indicate a sexual addiction or a tendency to use sex addictively.

  • I (occasionally) (frequently) use sex to feel good about myself.
  • I (occasionally) (frequently) use sex to fill up the emptiness within myself.
  • I (occasionally) (frequently) use sex to take away my aloneness.
  • I (occasionally) (frequently) use sex to take away my anxiety.
  • My sexuality is my identity.
  • I think about sex most of the time.
  • I often have trouble concentrating on other things due to my preoccupation with sex.
  • I have an intense need for sex with my partner. If my partner doesn't want to have sex with me, I get angry or withdrawn.
  • I sacrifice important parts of my relationship for sex. My sexual needs are more important to me than the relationship needs.
  • My sexual needs and my reaction when I do not get what I want are interfering with my relationship with my mate.
  • I have a compulsive need for sex with many partners.
  • The pursuit of sex makes me careless of my own welfare and the welfare of others.
  • I am chronically preoccupied with sexual fantasies.
  • I am promiscuous.
  • I am a compulsive masturbator.
  • I have a compulsive need to masturbate while viewing pornography.
  • I am a voyeur.
  • I am an exhibitionist.
  • I feel controlled by my sexual desires.
  • The only time I feel powerful is when I am imposing sex on someone.
  • I am attracted to children.
  • I act out with children.
  • I force people to have sex with me.
  • Hurting others turns me on sexually.
  • Being hurt by others turns me on sexually.

Obviously, there are many different levels of sexual addiction. Sexual addiction, like all other addictions, comes from the wounded self trying to find a way to feel okay and it cannot be healed without a loving Adult. If you desire to heal your sexual addiction or any other addiction, you need to practice the Six Steps of Inner Bonding daily to develop a loving Adult.



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