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Self-Medicating with Food

By Dr. Margaret Paul
March 31, 2008



Do you find yourself unable to stop using food to fill your emptiness or assuage your anxiety and loneliness? Are you addicted to self-medicating with food? There is a way out of this!

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What does food mean to you?

  • Is it a way to nourish and support your body in excellent health?
  • Is it a way to satisfy your physical hunger?
  • Is it an experience that you relish and enjoy?
  • Is it a way to fill your emotional emptiness, to numb out and suppress your feelings?

If you identify with the latter - if you use food to avoid responsibility for your feelings, then you are self-medicating with food. You are using food addictively - as someone else might use a drug or alcohol.

It is easy to self-medicate with food because it is so available for most people. The chances are that if you are reading this article, you have a computer and enough money to buy food. You don't need a prescription for it and it is not illegal. Therefore, it is readily available.

What is the underlying issue here? Why are you devoted to self-medicating? You are devoted to self-medicating when you are NOT devoted to taking responsibility for your feelings.

When your primary intention is to avoid responsibility for your feelings, then you will likely find numerous addictive ways of doing this - from blaming others and feeling like a victim, to numbing out with substance and process addictions. The bottom line is that until you decide that you want to take full 100% responsibility for your own feelings, you will continue to self-medicate.

What is so scary about taking responsibility for your feelings? Why will you do almost anything to avoid this responsibility, including ending up sick or obese from self-medicating with food? What do you tell yourself will happen if you take responsibility for your feelings?

  • Do you tell yourself that you can never fill yourself as much as someone or something else can and if you take responsibility for your own feelings that you will never get what you really want?
  • Are you telling yourself that there is too much pain to manage - that you have to numb it out to survive?
  • Are you telling yourself that you don't deserve to take responsibility for your feelings?
  • Are you telling yourself that it is selfish to take care of your own feelings - that a caring person takes care of others' feelings?
  • Are you telling yourself that it is too much work and you don't have the time?
  • Do you tell yourself that if you open to your feelings and to taking responsibility for them, you will become too vulnerable and end up being controlled and taken advantage of by others?
  • Are you telling yourself that your inner child is too needy and demanding and you can't possibly meet your needs?
  • Are you telling yourself that if you take responsibility for yourself you will end up alone - that others' will be too upset by your self-care and leave and you will be more unhappy than you are now?
  • Do you tell yourself that if you take loving care of yourself, then you will outgrow your relationship or not want to be in this relationship?
  • Do you tell yourself that you are taking care of your feelings and you don't understand why you have a food issue, or that eating the way you eat is taking care of your feelings?

All of these things you might be telling yourself are coming from your wounded self and are lies that you tell yourself.

This is not an exhaustive list regarding what you tell yourself that causes you to fear taking responsibility for your feelings. You might want to take a moment to look inside and see what you tell yourself that causes you to self-medicate rather than take responsibility for your feelings.

Taking responsibility for your feelings means that you are devoted to the practice of Inner Bonding - that instead of self-medicating you are doing Inner Bonding whenever there are distressing feelings.

You will know the joy and fulfillment of taking responsibility for your own feelings only when you do it! Start today with bringing Inner Bonding into your life throughout the day.

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Comments

Author Comment Date

lindsayswisdom
California
This article is really helpful this morning. I realized that I so often don't pay attention to genuine hunger until it is screaming-and then, usually, the choices are poor. One day at a time, I'm going to take the loving action of planning and taking better care of myself and family instead of useless regret and self-loathing( The lies that I tell myself) Thank You!! 04/01/2008 07:37 AM

jennybean
Marietta (Suburb of Atlanta) Georgia United Stizzies
"Do you tell yourself that if you take loving care of yourself, then you will outgrow your relationship or not want to be in this relationship?"


this is a lie? i tell myself this all the time. I could swear this is the truth.


thank you so much for writing this article Dr. Margaret, i really needed to hear these things! it felt like you wrote this just for me :)
04/01/2008 09:27 AM

Dr.Margaret
Durango Colorado
Jennifer, I keep a lot of healthy food around that I love so that when I'm hungry, I have great things to eat! Jennybean, I know that it seems true, but since we come together at our common level of woundedness, it is likely that your partner will also grow in response to your growth. 04/01/2008 01:09 PM

ELISEW
JOHANNESBURG SOUTH AFRICA
"You will know the joy and fulfillment of taking responsibility for your own feelings only when you do it! Start today with bringing Inner Bonding into your life throughout the day."

Dr Margaret, thank you so much for this article. This is my addiction. I need to find out more in how to bring Inner Bonding into my life throughout the day and how to get in touch with my feelings.

Thank you again. Your website is the biggest investment I have made into my life!
06/24/2008 08:34 AM

TenderSpirit
Lakewood Washington United States
To Join You All,

I too struggle with my weight. Although I don't eat sweets or over eat. I don't eat in healthy ways. Such as I don't eat enough such as not eating regular meals. I know with some stuff that I have been through that has been an issue as well. But I eat late at night when I do eat and I know I need to do more physical exercise routine as well as lots of water intake. I would think as hard as I work in my yard and as easy as it it is for me to sweat like there was no tomorrow the weight would come off. Yet I know that is not the way the body works.

Painful slowly I am learning to like/love who I AM. I am slowly learning to like and respect my my body in which did not feel like my own for my own years.

This is a new focus for me. I see my neglect in NOT eating as a HUGE way I abandon myself and Inner Beings.

I am five weeks successfully of my medications that were weight producing as well. So I can be proud of my success in this little bit as well.

ELISEW, Welcome to Inner Bonding. Thanks for sharing here.

Be Blessed
TenderSpirit
06/24/2008 01:14 PM

Dr.Margaret
Durango Colorado
Barbarie, congratulations on getting off the meds! That is a huge accomplishment! Elisew, one of the major ways I bring IB into my life daily is that I walk in nature every day and I do my IB process while I walk. This is a really great way of getting present and tuning in, as nature helps this. The other thing to do is practice being present in your body throughout the day so that you know when you are feeling stressed. Then you can notice what you are thinking that is causing the stress and open to learning with guidance about the truth - which will relieve the stress. The more you do this, the less you will feel like using food to avoid the stress. 06/25/2008 04:42 AM

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I have been using Margaret Paul's tools consistently for over 9 years. If you have parts of your life that you want to change, you can choose to use this simple set of tools every day and change your life profoundly, often faster than you could have imagined. The tools are simple enough that you can teach children how to do them. Yet powerful enough that unwanted patterns that have persisted for a lifetime can lose their power and go away. The other thing that comes with using these tools is, that by implementing the connection process, one seems to be able to draw on deep, limitless power. I know of no other process that brings the same sense of innate strength that helps you persist and carry out the tasks that need to be done to transform your life. Thus batteries are included. What will make the difference here, is whether you can make a time every day to work the six simple steps Margaret presents. It doesn't take a lot of time. It takes consistency and growing an awareness to know when it's time to use the simple tools. Once you get the basics down, it's something you can do driving in your car, waiting in line at the grocery store, or lying in bed at night before you go to sleep. For me it's become as natural as eating and breathing. Her latest book ties together all her earlier works and focuses on the spiritual dimensions of this connection process. One does not have to believe in God to do this work, or FOR IT TO WORK. I can guarantee that. I've seen many people use the tools without focusing on the spiritual aspects. I can also tell you that if you value or seek a relationship with God/a Higher Power, this connection process will greatly enhance that relationship. Personally, as I have been able to work with and deepen the connection process, I have directly experienced God to a greater and greater extent in my everyday life. "Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by God" is a beautiful work for those that want to heal the parts of their lives that hurt. For those that want to take that a step further and reap the spiritual rewards of this connection process, this book is a wonderful guide. For those familiar with Dr. Paul's work, this book takes it deeper. I had wonderful Aha's, as the light bulbs turned on deep in my being. This book describes the tools, that if practiced with consistency, can be the best gift you ever give yourself!

Gary Scarborough,School Psychologist
Fayetteville,Arkansas

 

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