Daily InspirationRelationship problems often center around control. The wounded self always wants to be in control and not be controlled. Today, notice with compassion the part of you that wants to control and the part of you that resists being controlled. Then, instead of controlling or resisting, open to Guidance about what is in your highest good. By Dr. Margaret Paul
Finding Your Life PurposeBy Empress
August 27, 2008
We each have a special life purpose - something that we are called to do in this lifetime. When you are on track with this you will feel a sense of peace and deep fulfillment. When you are off track you will feel stuck and frustrated. This article answers common questions people have when trying to find their life purpose.
Finding Your Life Purpose
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all." Helen Keller
"I have spent my life stringing and unstringing my instrument, and the Song I came here to Sing remains Unsung." Rabindranth Tagore
We each have a special life purpose-something that we are called to do in this lifetime. When you are on track with this you will feel a sense of peace and that you are on track with your life. If you aren't in alignment with your life purpose, you will feel restless and a sense that something is missing in your life. If you don't take steps to gain clarity about your life purpose and pursue this - you will begin to feel an increasing sense of feeling stuck. Sometimes this will even lead to feelings of depression and anxiety. Despite these uncomfortable feelings, many people still won't take action. Why would this be?
Many people avoid discovering their life purpose because of the fear of the changes it might call them to make in their life. They fear rocking the boat, upsetting the status quo and stepping out into the unknown. They ask "What will my life look like living my life purpose?" and "Can I trust if I take the leap, I will succeed?" and "Can I make money at my life purpose?"
I believe the epidemic use of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication is a band-aid for the underlying issue of being disconnected from one's true self-and one's true purpose. Stifling and suppressing who we are and what we came here to do has consequences of making us feel despair, hopelessness and creating anxiety. Our true self is filled with passion, creativity and a purpose that desires to be fully expressed.
Are you following the path of your life purpose? Do you feel filled with aliveness, vibrancy and excitement about your life? Are you taking the risks to find out your life purpose and to pursue it? What are the consequences of NOT doing it? There is an incredible loss of you not following your purpose -t here is your own loss of the joy of following your passion, but also the loss of the people who will miss out on what you came to share. Everyone loses - you and the world.
Looking at some of the questions people typically have when trying to find their life purpose can help you sort through some of the common fears and questions that may hold you back.
Questions I get asked when people come to me wanting to find their life purpose.
Will it be easy? Yes and no. It will take hard work but you won't mind because of you will enjoy what you are doing. You are also willing to do some of the hard, tedious work because of the passion you have for what you are doing. Your passion will carry you a long way. That is why it must be something you are passionate about because it will allow you to persevere in the face of the hard work and challenges.
Will I feel uncomfortable? Yes and no. You will feel a sense of peace and deep knowing that you are on track and doing what you came here to do. You will also be challenged to grow and expand beyond your comfort zone. You may need to learn new skills - are you willing to be a beginner again? You may be a novice at the skills you need to develop. Are you willing to go to school, learn from others, read and study? Just because you may be a beginner doesn't mean it's not your life purpose or you can't be successful. A willingness to be a beginner and go through the learning process is an important part of pursuing your life purpose.
You may need to move past limiting beliefs about who you are and what you are capable of doing. You will be called to release all the limitations that hold you back from manifesting your full potential. You must be willing to heal and step into more of who you truly are. It will be both exhilarating and at times scary - but well worth it!
What if the people in my life don't support me? Some people will be able to support you wholeheartedly and others - because of their own fears, won't be as supportive. Trust that as you move forward that the support will show up for you - reminding you that you are on track and not alone. At times you may feel alone as you pursue your passion, but these times are opportunities for deepening your own connection with yourself and your spiritual support. It is a time to go deep within and connect with the strength and vision of your own Spirit. I also encourage people to look for a support group of like-minded people who are also pursuing their passions. You can give and receive support from people who really understand what you are going through. I offer these kind of structured groups to help people while they are in the process of finding and pursuing their life purpose. Learning both to access your own inner strength and also getting enough support are essential to make the process easier for you.
What if I can't figure out my Life Purpose - what if I don't have one? You cannot NOT have a life purpose. Your life purpose will look different from someone else's life purpose. Let go of thinking it has to look a certain way to be your life purpose. I find that people who struggle with figuring it out have not connected deeply enough with themselves to gain the clarity they need. If you are searching externally for your life purpose you will more than likely go around and around in your search. You will find your purpose through getting to know the authentic you more. We all have been trained to look externally for answers rather than connecting with the wisdom we have inside.
Sometimes someone's life purpose can be right underneath their nose. I remember one time in a session with a client and she was going around and around about figuring out her life purpose. I asked her to be quiet and connect with her Spirit and answer from her Spirit what her life purpose was - she stated it simply and clearly and opened her eyes in disbelief. She didn't think it could be that easy. What was blocking her awareness was all of the clutter of the fears about pursuing her purpose. She kept herself from knowing so she wouldn't have to face her fears and take action to pursue her purpose.
What if I pursue my Life Purpose and fail? You will be supported as you move in the direction of your life purpose. The only thing that can block you is your own negativity and limited thinking. The more you clear this away and operate from your authentic self you will succeed. Your own negativity can cloud your vision of your next step and the opportunities all around you that are supporting you. Your negativity can cause you to give up in the face of a challenge or obstacle. Remember what I said above - you will be required to stretch and grow as you are living your purpose. If in the face of an obstacle you move into negativity and give up - you will fail. But instead if you look at it as an opportunity to learn and grow - and continue to move forward, you will succeed.
Persistence and perseverance are key in being successful at your life purpose. Mark Victor Hanson and Jack Canfield presented their idea for the Chicken Soup for the Soul book to 100 publishers before it was accepted. Can you stay true to your purpose in the face of rejection? What I have found is that these kind of experiences can help people move more into a deeper belief in themselves and their purpose. Do you have the courage to believe in yourself when no one around you believes in you? Many successful people are successful because of their ability to do just that. This belief in themselves allows them to persevere when others would give up.
There is a book titled "The Luck Factor" by Richard Wiseman which documents the common traits of lucky and successful people. One of the traits is that they would persist in the face of challenges and have confidence that the obstacles were actually helping them achieve their goals. They viewed challenges differently than "unlucky" people. He found that lucky people are able to transform their bad luck into good fortune by using different psychological techniques. For example, they see the positive side of the challenge, they do not dwell on the challenge, they are convinced the situation in the long run will work out for the best and they take a proactive approach to the situation. So your "Success" in following your life purpose will be determined a great deal by your own mindset and the positive action you take.
Will I be able to make Money at my Life Purpose? Yes, and you have to be willing to learn how to do this. For some professions, the path to making money is pretty straightforward and clear cut. For other professions you may be doing something unique and so the path to make money may not be as clear. It is important to find someone who comes close to what you want to do and is doing it very successfully and learn from them. Or you can connect with a business development program in your area that supports people starting businesses. They can be great resources on how to translate what your passion is into a money making business.
You may be a pioneer in the field and could use extra support and your own creativity to find a way to make money at your life purpose. You may want to pursue a field that has a stereotype of not being lucrative -l ike: being an artist, musician, healer etc. The good news is we are living in the era of the creative entrepreneur and thousands of people around the world are taking these professions into a new realm of money making possibility. Find someone who is doing this and learn from what they are doing. Use what they are doing as creative inspirations for your own ideas as well.
What if my relationships change as I follow my purpose? Your relationships will change. You are growing and expanding as you pursue your life purpose. You have chosen the path of vitality and aliveness. As you grow you will inspire those around you to grow and follow their dreams as well. These relationships will get closer. Other people may take longer to grow - or may grow in a way that is different then you. Trust that the relationships that are meant to be long term for you will adapt and grow with the change.
As time goes on it will become clear which relationships are growing and which ones you are outgrowing. Trust that when you get to that point of having to let go of some of your relationships it will be a natural letting go process that will just make sense. There are some people we are meant to journey with our whole lives and some that come to be with us for a certain period of time. I have seen clients who have stopped their own growth because they fear that if they keep growing they will outgrow their relationships. It is unpredictable what will happen - you can't guarantee that someone will not grow along with you - you will be surprised. The only way to know for sure is to take the leap and trust that whatever happens will be in the highest good for everybody involved!
What if I don't have the talents or skills to do my Life Purpose? Trust that you have all that you need to fulfill your life purpose. It wouldn't be a desire of yours if you didn't have the capabilities to do it. Like I mentioned above you may need to learn new skills and work at it - but you will have the desire to do this because it is your life purpose. Again, you may need to release false beliefs about yourself. You may not be viewing your capabilities accurately. You may be viewing yourself through the eyes of your wounded self - which is full of false beliefs and distortions. Doing some work to clear these distortions away and see yourself clearly will help open the door for your self-worth to soar. You will be amazed at how much you are truly capable of.
Now that you have more clear information about finding and pursuing your life purpose - are you ready to take the leap? See if you can identify one small step to move towards finding and pursuing your life purpose. It might be something like setting aside a few hours of quiet time for you to journal and connect with yourself. Or it might mean doing research on an area that is of interest to you. Write down what step you would like to take and make a promise to yourself to follow through and do it. If you need extra support I will be doing a three month Life Purpose Mentoring Program (a class that meets on the phone) starting in September 9th.
Wishing you all the best on finding and aligning with your unique Life Purpose!Shelley Riutta MSE, LPC is a Holistic Psychotherapist in private practice specializing in Transformational individual counseling, Inner Bonding, presentations, groups and Workshops. To get her free workbook "What Do You REALLY Want: Finding Purpose and Passion in Your Life" or find out about her "Life Purpose Mentoring Group" that starts in September visit her web-site http://www.radiantlifecounseling.com/ or call her at 920-265-2627.
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