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When someone has hurt you deeply and you just want to get back at him or her, ask yourself: What is the high road? What is truly loving to myself? Will hurting another heal me?


All You Need Is Love .... (the Beatles)

By francisco
March 29, 2009

We all need love. This article shows you how you can always experience the love you need.

Before you were born you were floating in the very substance of God, which is the neverending substance of love. There you were as the truth of who you are, as your radiant immaculate Core Self. And with you all your friends that were not born yet. In this state, which is our true home, we see and feel the beauty of  each other. We are in a continous flow of joyful movement...God is the sea we are swimming in and his loving essence flows through us and we flow in him. Therefore love is the air we breath all the time.

Living in a physical body separates us from God. A new born child is a pure Core Self surrounded by a body. It fills our heart with awe to see this wonder. We feel the helplessnes of this being that has just entered this place called life, earth. Our natural instinct is to give love to this little being. To embrace it, to nourish it with food, warmth, to sing him/her to sleep. And even if externally it’s not the most beautiful baby (some can actually look quite “ugly”) we cannot stop feeling this joy and love for it, because we feel the presence of its core Self radianting out of this little and helpless body. It NEEDS our love. There is nothing this baby can do to take care of himself, besides of crying for help. And we feel that. We feel that it is our responsibility to take care of this being.

As we enter the body we jump out of the sea of God into this world. The only problem is that now we still need love in order to survive. And its not only about getting food and clothes. We need love because its our most natural state. Being surrounded by love IS the normal state. If you take a fish out of the sea and place it on a nice cushion and feed him, and sing to him, but you do not place it in some water soon it will die. The same is with our Core Self. It needs love ALL THE TIME.

As a little child our parents and caregivers have the responsibility to bring this love to our Core Self. As we grow up it becomes our responsibility. The love comes in both situations from the same source. First it comes from God through our parents and then it comes from God through our Loving Adult. In this way life would be a continuous experience of joy, it would be like “heaven”. It would be natural. Then our mission on this planet would be fullfilled.

The problem appears when there is an interruption of love supply to the Core Self.

If your parents or caregivers were not spiritually connected as Loving Parents when you were a child and adolescent, it means that you did not get the love freely, as you were used to before you were born. So in order to survive you decided that if you are not going to get the love freely, as a gift, then you are going to FIGHT for it. This is the first moment we start developing the wounded self. We develop a strategy. We develop a manipulative behaviour. We start trying different techniques to get the love we so desperately need. And then we realize that some of those techniques work better than others depending on the weakness of the people around us. Sometimes we just need to behave aggressively to we get  the attention that we want, sometimes we give in to make others like us, or we let others run over us in order to not lose them. And so on...

If for some reason using manipulative behaviours does not succed in getting the love and attention from others to fill the emptiness externally, then we still have the option to develop addictions. Addictions are a substitute for love. For example, if I feel lack of love I can eat a muffin to fill this emptiness, and it seems to work. I enjoy eating that muffin, and while I am eating it I feel good inside. But afterwards the feeling of emptiness will return and I can eat another muffin...The same can be said for other forms of addictions like shopping, tv, sex, drugs, alcohol, exercise....

Until we develop a first glimpse of Loving Adult we are UNABLE to accept helplessness and loneliness and then take responsibility for ourselves. And this is why as a child we have no other option than to develop a wounded manipulative self, if we want to survive. So we die or we develop a wounded self if there is no love around. There is no other  way.

The wounded self is the desperate part of us that has taken the responsibility to bring love to the Core Self because there is no Loving Adult around. And because he does not know better it uses manipulative and addictive behaviours.

The problem with using manipulative or addictive behaviour is that both work only for the moment. We need to keep exhausting ourselves when we are manipulating others or we need to keep ruining our bodies, health or bank account with addictions. One way or another we will sooner or later hit bottom, and then look for help or commit suicide.

Commiting suicide is the ultimate despair of the soul. Here the wounded self sees no other way to bring love to the Core Self than destroying the body and bringing the Core Self back home. Back to the eternal non jugdmental place of peace and love to which we all will return sooner or later, when our body falls away. The only difference is that if you commit suicide you will return home with empty hands.

Fortunately many of us have found a way to developing a Loving Adult and take the burden off the wounded self. For the wounded self to bring love to the Core Self is a burden because it needs to look for it externally like a hunter. It is the job of the Loving Adult to bring love. And only the Loving Adult experiences this job as a sacred privilege. The Loving Adult does not need to go hunting for love. He brings the love directly from God/Spirit to the Core Self AND to the wounded self. It is the Loving Adult that brings the truth and loving action from Spirit, healing the wounded self until your Core Self  can be revealed and live safely.


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