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When conflict occurs, you will learn the most if you take 100% responsibility for the conflict. Worrying about the other person's part of the conflict will get you nowhere, other than feeling like a victim. By taking 100% responsibility for the conflict, you empower yourself to see what you are doing that is not in your highest good and to change it.

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All Rivers Flow To The Sea

By Suzi Korsak
November 14, 2011



Ever feel like all you make are mistakes? Read Suzi Korsak's article about the discovery that there are no "bad" experiences but all lessons that we are meant to learn on the path to love.



"All rivers flow to the sea" Ecclesiates 1:7

This quote triggered in me that there are no wrong turns, "bad" lessons, there are no mistakes, or "bad" teachers. I am either open to learning in and from an event or choose to suffer because I believe the past could have been different. Once the idea that I can embrace what was or is rather than wishing it were somehow different, I can embrace the lesson presented in that moment. There is a line from Eat, Pray, Love that stands out to me as a part of this lesson...If you're brave enough to leave behind all that is familiar and if you are prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be withheld from you.  The path may not always feel clear, but if I am willing to take responsibility for my journey, there are NO MISTAKES and only learning. All rivers of knowledge of self (river), lead to the larger knowledge of the whole (ocean). Fr. Richard Rohr speaks of a darkness that we are led into by our own stupidity, selfishness and blindness of the false self but that God himself leads us through these choices for an opportunity of enlightenment. We can learn in these moments to surrender, let go and find compassion for self and others.

I have had a habit of praying for a word for focus of each year. This past year has been "courage". Courage comes from the Old French, cuer and the Latin cor, meaning heart. This is at the core of the Inner Bonding process, listening to the wisdom of the heart for guidance.  Courage is the ability to confront fear, pain, danger, uncertainty and intimidation whether from the false self or outside forces. My wounded selves would have me believe my strength, love and needs are all held within another person or experience. The truth is I alone hold this strength. Iyanla Vanzant reminds us with the question, "how long do you stay in your humanness before you slip back into your divinity? The ability to make that shift is a sign of being in touch with your power". The six steps of Inner Bonding give me the window into that spark of divinity within myself. It connects me to source and connects me to others. I am now in a space of knowing I am not filled up by another person or event occurring in my life.

At the seat of this knowledge is compassion. Compassion is essential for self and others, and a willingness to witness from a compassionate place. Compassion allows us to see beyond personality and this is where healing begins. It is in the personality that we get stuck as client or facilitator, boyfriend and girlfriend, parent and child, or manager to employee. With a compassionate witness present, there is a mirror, a way of seeing the proverbial spinach in the teeth with love. The reaction is thank you rather than resistance. There is no ego to ego war, but an opening to a deeper sense of love.

On my journey before, and now with Inner Bonding, I have encountered many teachers. My ego would have me believe that I had "good" and "bad" teachers based on my experience. Guidance however has made me aware that all have the lessons needed to bring me closer to the love my heart desires and it is my decision when I choose to learn the lesson, and whether I choose to learn the lesson at all. I wish you all love on the journey.



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