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When someone has hurt you deeply and you just want to get back at him or her, ask yourself: What is the high road? What is truly loving to myself? Will hurting another heal me?


Power Hungry

By Suzi Korsak
December 29, 2012

Would you like to learn to end power struggles in your life? Learn the difference between seeking power from external sources through manipulation and choose to create authentic power that can only be created by you.

Interesting phrase because based upon an experience of the words evoke associations based in either love or fear. If associations of power come from fear one might have visions of a tyrannical boss using position to control others’ lives. However, if the vision of power comes from love, one might envision a person of power as a benevolent charismatic soul offering assistance to others. Power is described in the dictionary as possession of control, authority, or influence over others. Influence being the key ingredient, either love or fear can suffice. However, once fear has been assuaged, the power decreases leaving the question “is fear the base of authentic power?”


My experience is that fear is not a natural state, but a state often used by those that are in a fearful state themselves. This is the base of much of the abuse that exists within our world today. The fear is the driving force. The fear driving individuals to seek to promote fear in others in order to alleviate the experience of loneliness...the feeling of disconnection felt when apart from the energy of love. I suggest this kind of hunger for power can never be satisfied, fear as a driving force creates more fear, leaving the one in current power in need of more control or risk losing the position.


I suggest we are all power hungry....I know I want to count. I want to be seen and heard. Most of all I want to connect with others. I also know that I lose that connection when I am trying to control it. The only answer for me is to acknowledge my desire to connect, and be aware when I am choosing fear of losing that connection. It is in those moments I attempt to control the connection through acts of kindness, helping, begging, pleading and complaining....and I can talk. Awareness is the key. Does my Inner Child feel seen and heard by me? Can I view myself as enough without seeking approval from others? If the answer is yes, then I can connect to people from a place of genuine love rather than genuine need. If the answer is no, the awareness of the genuine need is followed by the question...what am I not accepting in myself? what is the block between me and loving my essence? 


Often there are unconscious agreements, some made with ourselves after an encounter with a parent when we were a child. The agreements with ourselves about how our lives should look, how people should treat us, and my value whether I decided to base it on my internal values or I seek my value externally. I tend to believe as human beings we depend on our caregivers for safety, food and shelter as well as love. Even with the most loving caregivers, agreements about our value begin as an external event. We watch and learn from those that care for us. A child needn’t have a difficult and abusive childhood to make the decision to attach their value to outside sources.


The key to becoming authentically powerful begins with the awareness of what we define as power. If I believe that getting approval from another person, or being somehow perceived as better than another person I am seeking external power. In this place my ability to have power changes like the weather as people’s opinions of themselves and me can change minute by minute. Giving another power to determine my value leaves me feeling frustrated and powerless. This is blessed awareness...a gift....if I am feeling frustrated and powerless....I am now aware I was seeking outside of myself for value. However, upon the awareness I have given my power away....I can make a new choice. I can choose to align my personality, with my essence with my soul. My soul seeks to be in harmony, to share, honor life, to be compassionate to myself and to others. My soul knows that authentic power is something that only I can create....I cannot get it through someone else’s approval...therefore no one can take it away from me. Authentic power is not a masking over the feeling of helplessness...but the truth about living authentically from my soul. Each time I choose to challenge the wounded parts or fearful parts of my personality by inquiring into the thoughts and higher self or guidance lets me know the truth. The truth loosens the grip of the thoughts and each time challenge brings me closer in alignment with my soul’s desire for compassion.


The soul is the seat of authentic power. The soul celebrates life in all forms, is ageless, without need, has love and compassion for all of life. Creativity is born of this kind of power....connection true loving connection is born of this power. Love is the language of the soul. In order to connect to this power I must stay the my body...aware of the physical and emotional feelings....aware of my intentions...and connected to my guidance so that I may be clear in my actions. Living in alignment with my soul brings peace, harmony and compassion to my interactions with others. Most importantly what is called “the peace that passes all understanding” when in a challenging situation with another. When in this state of awakening, I can continually check in at the times I am seeking external power without judgment....and explore the beliefs...not deny the thoughts or feelings but use them as a source of exploration...allow curiosity to rule the experience rather than judgment. My soul is here to soul is here to evolve with other souls...this source of power.....this source of strength does not diminish when share....does not experience lack....but grows. This authentic power never seeks to manipulate or control because it knows the truth of abundance.


I believe having a regular practice that allows for this exploration creates the habits that will bring one through the greatest challenges and lessons. For me, my practices have been yoga, meditation/prayer and Inner Bonding. I find they complement each other through exploration of physical sensations, emotions and inquiry. In seeking your own truth, your own authentic power you might explore journaling, prayer, dance, yoga, qigong or with your soul explore. Explore through motion, stillness and awareness. These practices will assist you on your journey to authentic love.


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