Daily InspirationHow much of your behavior with others is to try to control getting love, approval or sympathy, or to control avoiding anger and disapproval? How often do you whine, complain, pout, explain, defend, debate, attack, judge, threaten, blame, withdraw, shame, and so on? You will always want to get approval or avoid disapproval when you are not being loving to yourself. Today, notice this without judgement, with curiosity and compassion for this controlling, wounded part of you. By Dr. Margaret Paul
Q-TIPBy Patti Gerrish
December 31, 2006
Want to learn to remember to stop taking things personally? Then read this article!
Not to long ago I was out for my evening run. This was a particularly beautiful Great Lakes September eveing. I was moving along feeling great, having a great discussion with my Teacher when I approached a gentleman who appeared to be in his mid-50's. As we drew nearer to each other I heard him say, "what, are you trying to do make me look bad." I laughed and shot back some off hand remark that I can't even remember now. About two strides later I suddenly felt as if I was dragging two lead pipes along. At first I just excused it as "normal" fatigue since I was nearing the end of my run. Within the next few steps I heard "Nope, just keeping me looking good!" I laughed, took a deep breath, said to myself Q-TIP and started a deeper exploration of the experience. Even though this was a passing comment by a complete stranger I had taken on the energy of blame that came along with it. The internal dialogue went something like this. "Who do you think you are? Trying to make people look bad, you know you don't look so good and you certainly don't look like a runner, etc.". Soon I brought through truth and my running returned to the enjoyable place it had been.
So what is Q-TIP, besides a stick with cotton stuck on either end? For me it is a reminder to me to "Quit Taking It Personally" . The blame, shame and judgement that another sends my way isn't about me but as long as I am taking it on as my truth I cannot step out of the cycle of blame and judgement to look deeper into my own inner dialogue. So instead when I Q-TIP a remark I free myself to explore my own inner dialogue, correct the false beliefs and bring through truth and love to the inner kids.
When I first came across this concept, (I must admit that this isn't an original idea of mine.) I was completely amazed by how easily it helped me break the vicious blame cycle. There were a few times that I thought about carrying around one of those sticks with cotton stuck on either end but never really did. However, I think it might be worth a try if you find yourself constantly taking on the blame and shame from those around. Just reach into that pocket, put your hand around that cotton swab, take a deep breath and say, "Q-TIP".
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