Daily Inspiration
Today, be willing to make love your highest priority - higher than avoiding pain, higher than getting love, higher than having control over others and outcomes. When love is your highest priority, you will connect with Spirit. By Dr. Margaret Paul
"By learning to take personal responsibility for our own “stuff,” we are able to enjoy the true essence of one another. Our love continues to retain the passion, intimacy, and playfulness that we shared when we first met."
Jeff and Elaine
"I figured out, being a trauma survivor, that if I was ever to recover from my eating disorder I would have to take very good care of that little girl that I once was. I was going to have to tell her that I would always be there for her and I was going to take good care of her. Today… I don't feed my little girl sugar or flour. I only give her water, proteins, vegetables, starch and oil/seeds. I exercise 5-6 times/wk doing aerobics on my rebounder. My little girl is happy that I am taking good care of her and feels loved by the good parent she now has. I learned from Inner Bonding that I needed to bond with the little girl inside because my mother did not bond with me. I learned to go to my real source of love which is God who provides spiritual guidance to me. I asked God to be my mother and father. God guides me as I grow and develop my relationship with him. I have lost 13 pounds in the past 7 weeks."
CS
"The inner bonding work has completely changed my life and my relationship for the better. My husband and I went from a relationship that was surely headed for divorce (or misery) to the most fulfilling and connected relationship I have ever experienced! (More than I ever even imagined was possible.) We are now able to communicate freely and openly about all areas of our life, money, emotions, sex. We both feel free to relate to each other openly without fear of the other's reaction."
Danielle Koprowski
"I have to tell you that my husband and I are not living together and have filed for a legal separation BUT we started doing the relationship course when I received the 12 weeks of the toolbox. We've done the first 3 weeks already and both of us are getting a lot out of it. After several years and more than $10,000 of what I now call "thera-chat", we have finally found something helpful! So thank you for making this material available!"
E.D.
"Inner Bonding has improved our relationship and our parenting, by giving each of us the tools to recognize, understand, and move beyond power struggles. As a result, we are each able to stay in a deeply loving place more and more continuously, and we bounce back much quicker if either or both of us goes into a wounded place. It's great that we both practice IB as we can get feedback from each other and can enjoy deep learning and spiritual growth together."
Emily Agnew and Duke Duchscherer
"When I first began inner bonding I weighed 244 pounds. This was thirty or forty pounds too much for me, as I am six feet tall. As I read the articles and talked to two Inner Bonding® facilitators, I began to realize that my problem was more complicated than overeating. My facilitator asked me "what was I doing just before I started eating"? Then she asked "what were you feeling, at that moment?" With some difficulty I realized that whenever I was feeling uncomfortable or fearful, I would stick something in my mouth. I now weigh 220 pounds….I also have different self soothing strategies than I used to have."
Charlie Peck
The 6 Steps of Inner Bonding
Practicing the Six Steps of Inner Bonding leads you along the spiritual path of healing the shame of the ego/wounded self and creating communion with God/Higher Power. Practicing these steps on a daily basis leads to the development of a loving, spiritually-connected Adult. A brief overview of the Six Steps are presented here.
Step One: Willingness to Feel Pain and Take Responsibility for Your Feelings
Move into the present moment and focus within, tuning into
your feelings - the physical sensations within the body. Choose to
be mindful of and pay attention to all distressing feelings rather
than protect against them with substance and process addictions. Make a conscious decision that you WANT to take responsibility for your feelings.
Step Two: Move into the Intent to Learn
Invite the compassionate presence of Spirit into your heart to help you learn what you may be doing or thinking that may be causing your pain, or what may be happening externally that needs your attention. In Inner Bonding there are only two possible intents in any given moment:
- to protect against pain and avoid responsibility for it through trying to control yourself and others
- to learn about what you are doing or thinking that may be causing your pain so that you can move into loving yourself and others.
Step Three: Dialogue with Your Wounded self and Core Self
Discover the thoughts/false beliefs from your wounded self that may be causing your shame, fear and pain; release anger and pain in appropriate ways; learn about the past that created the false beliefs; nurture your wounded self; explore what may be happening with a person or event that is causing the core feelings of loneliness, heartache, heartbreak, helplessness, or grief; explore your core Self and what brings you joy.
Step Four: Dialogue with Your Higher Guidance
Ask your spiritual Guidance (whatever that is for you): What is the truth about the thoughts/false beliefs you may have uncovered in Step Three? and What is the loving behavior toward your Inner Child in this situation? What is in your highest good? What is kind to yourself? Open and allow the answers to come through you in words, pictures or feelings. The answers may not come immediately, but if you have a sincere desire to learn, they will come.
Step Five: Take Loving Action
Tell yourself the truth and take the loving action that came through from your Guidance in Step Four; put God/Spirit into action. Consciously move into gratitude for your Guidance that is always here for you.
Step Six: Evaluate Your Action
Check in to see if your pain, anger and shame are getting healed. If not, go back through the steps until you discover the truth and actions that bring you peace, joy, and a deep sense of intrinsic worth.
These Steps will come alive for you as you learn and practice the Inner Bonding process.
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