The 6 Steps of Inner Bonding
Practicing the Six Steps of Inner Bonding leads you along the spiritual path of healing the shame of the ego/wounded self and creating communion with God/Higher Power. Practicing these steps on a daily basis leads to the development of a loving, spiritually-connected Adult. A brief overview of the Six Steps are presented here.
Step One: Willingness to Feel Pain and Take Responsibility for Your Feelings
Move into the present moment and focus within, tuning into your feelings - the physical sensations within the body. Choose to be mindful of and pay attention to all distressing feelings rather than protect against them with substance and process addictions. Make a conscious decision that you WANT to take responsibility for your feelings.
Step Two: Move into the Intent to Learn
Invite the compassionate presence of Spirit into your heart to help you learn what you may be doing or thinking that may be causing your pain, or what may be happening externally that needs your attention. In Inner Bonding there are only two possible intents in any given moment:
- to protect against pain and avoid responsibility for it through trying to control yourself and others
- to learn about what you are doing or thinking that may be causing your pain so that you can move into loving yourself and others.
When you are in the intent to learn you are a loving Adult. When you are in the intent to protect and avoid you are operating from your shame-based ego wounded self, or child-adult. In Step Two, you welcome and embrace all your feelings with compassion.
Step Three: Dialogue with Your Wounded self and Core Self
Discover the thoughts/false beliefs from your wounded self that may be causing your shame, fear and pain; release anger and pain in appropriate ways; learn about the past that created the false beliefs; nurture your wounded self; explore what may be happening with a person or event that is causing the core feelings of loneliness, heartache, heartbreak, helplessness, or grief; explore your core Self and what brings you joy.
Step Four: Dialogue with Your Higher Guidance
Ask your spiritual Guidance (whatever that is for you): What is the truth about the thoughts/false beliefs you may have uncovered in Step Three? and What is the loving behavior toward your Inner Child in this situation? What is in your highest good? What is kind to yourself? Open and allow the answers to come through you in words, pictures or feelings. The answers may not come immediately, but if you have a sincere desire to learn, they will come.
Step Five: Take Loving Action
Tell yourself the truth and take the loving action that came through from your Guidance in Step Four; put God/Spirit into action. Consciously move into gratitude for your Guidance that is always here for you.
Step Six: Evaluate Your Action
Check in to see if your pain, anger and shame are getting healed. If not, go back through the steps until you discover the truth and actions that bring you peace, joy, and a deep sense of intrinsic worth.
These Steps will come alive for you as you learn and practice the Inner Bonding process.
Daily InspirationSet your intention for the day. Make a conscious decision that you want to be in love, compassion, peace and joy. Decide to be courageous and speak your truth. Request to draw to you all that is of the light, and to be immune to the darkness of anger, fear and judgment. By Dr. Margaret Paul
"Wonderful, incredible. Two major epiphanies; one was that my inner child requested a need for bonding from me, hence I now really get the workshop title "Inner Bonding". Two, was that the cherishing I have been feeling, I've missed all my life from my family, I can give to me. Thank you." Kripalu Workshop - Lenox, MA - 5/2001
"I've been on a journey to 'find myself' for a while now. That included attending Tony Robbins' Mastery University and having counseling. Something was missing though. I knew the answers were inside me but hadn't found the tools yet to access them. Margaret gave me the tools and it was light a light bulb! This makes so much sense to pay attention to myself, ask myself - honor myself.. She was excellent - compelling, passionate, loving - one of the best [leaders] I've had."
'I'm so happy that I made the decision to come to this workshop. It addresses the most fundamental issues underneath all the dynamics in relationships, self-esteem, and spiritual connection. It tells you how to do things, instead of the usual advice on what to do. Inner Bonding is a way of life that we practic every day!' Kripalu Workshop, 9.15 - Lenox, MA
"I found the workshop to be incredibly helpful. Though I'd read Inner Bonding, am a member of the website, and had a phone session with Margaret, I learned so much at the workshop. I found the small group and visualizations to be very useful. The demonstrations were extraordinarily valuable. And my fear of feeling too vulnerable and overwhelmed didn't happen - it was a safe environment." Rowe Weekend Workshop 5/06
"I feel exhilarated by the openings I've experienced for my process. Especially a balance of positive empowering tools for my wounded self while I'm giving my inner child more loving attention. i.e. 'new job'; embracing, learning & dialog to core self, enhancing how to grow with loving adult guidance enhanced action."Kripalu Workshop, Lenox, MA, 10/09
"I truly connect with Dr. Margaret Paul and her Inner Bonding process. 'Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God' is the most inspirational book I've ever read and I recommend it to my fellow colleagues (ie: therapists, my clients and my friends), to help them heal and evolve.