Daily InspirationIs the fear of failure or of success keeping you immobilized? Do you fear rejection if you fail? Do you fear demands and expectations if you succeed? Until you are ready to manage rejection without it defining your worth and set loving limits regarding demands and expectations, you may stay stuck in procrastination. Only you, as a loving Adult, can manage rejection and demands. Today, practice being your loving Adult. By Dr. Margaret Paul
Resistance to Effort and ExcellenceBy Dr. Margaret Paul
May 24, 2010
Are you stuck, unable to move forward with something you say you want to do? Do you hold back giving your all to whatever you are doing? This article is for you!
"If people knew how hard I worked to gain my mastery, it wouldn't seem so wonderful."
--Michelangelo 1475-1564, Painter, Sculptor and Architect
"The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor."
"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education is not; the world is full of educated failures. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."
Does doing your very best bring you joy? Do you generally put forth your best effort, or is there something in the way for you of striving for excellence?
When we watch most small children learning to walk, they are very diligent about it. The fact that they fail over and over doesn't seem to faze them at all. But what would happen if, every time the child fell, the parent was angry, yelling at them for falling down, shaming them for failing? It is likely that the child would become fearful of even trying to walk, and their walking would be greatly delayed.
I've never seen a parent do this to a child, but I have seen many people do it to themselves - to their inner child.
Think about what you say to yourself when you think about doing something new - like going back to school to change careers, or learning to fly, or moving to a new city, or contemplating marriage.
Is this you?
- What if I fail?
- What if I make a fool of myself?
- What will people think of me if I don't do well?
Or is this you?
- How exciting - a new challenge!
- I'm going to enjoy putting my all into this!
- I just love trying new things and learning new things!
There is one huge difference between these two: the first is about the outcome and the second is about the process.
When you are focused on the outcome and attaching your worth to the outcome, you will find yourself very resistant to trying new things and putting forth your best effort. When you define your worth by your performance rather than your effort, you stop yourself dead at the starting gate.
When your sense of worth is attached to the effort you make and putting forth your very best, then the process itself become exciting and rewarding, regardless of the outcome. In fact, people who define themselves through effort rather than outcome, do not think much about the outcome. While they have goals, and they certainly want to achieve their goals, they are not focused in the future on the goal. Instead, they are in the present moment, putting forth full effort in their desire to be all they can be.
If you find yourself stuck or blocked in your life in any area, look inside to see if your focus is on the outcome and what people think of you, or if you are focused in the present moment, fully engaged in the process. Notice if you are telling yourself that your worth and intelligence are attached to outcomes and to what people think of you, or to fully expressing and manifesting your gifts and talents.
If you have never put forth full effort for fear of failure, you have no idea how deeply fulfilling it is to give your all to something. People who fear failure are afraid to give their all, because then if they fail, they can always say, "Well, I didn't put in my all." People who give their all and fail say, "I learned so much from this experience that will serve me well the next time."
We did not come to this planet to protect against failure. We came to fully and joyfully manifest ourselves, offering our love, gifts and talents to each other and the planet. Today, why not devote yourself to effort and excellence?
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