Who is in charge of organizing your time - your wounded self or your loving adult? What happens when your wounded self is in charge of organizing time?

The wounded self, being a child or adolescent part of us, generally does not have a very good sense of time. In addition, the wounded self might be resistant to being governed by your own or others' time schedule. When the wounded self is in charge of time, numerous problems can occur:

• The wounded self may think there is much more time than there is. Therefore, you are often late because your wounded self doesn't understand how to measure time.

• On the other hand, the wounded self might be very afraid of others’ judgment regarding being late, and might be anxious and rigid regarding time, always rushing and having to be early.

• One aspect of your wounded self might be very resistant to being judged and controlled by another aspect of your wounded self. You might find yourself in resistance to doing the things you tell yourself you want to do, not getting the things done that you need to get done. Procrastination sets in. When the wounded self is in charge, you might often feel that you just don't have enough time to get things done, or you might often forget what it is you need to do.

• The wounded self might also be very resistant to being controlled by others. When this is the case, you might find yourself procrastinating regarding getting ready for appointments. You might find that you feel a subtle sense of satisfaction when you keep others waiting, even though you experience anxiety regarding their upset with you. You might also find yourself forgetting appointments.
 

Start With Noticing Your Intent

If organizing your time is a problem for you, then you might want to notice that controlling and not being controlled is more important to you than being loving to yourself. When controlling and not being controlled is your deepest intent, then it will be very difficult for you to heal your time issue and other organizational issues. Even if you do manage to change your behavior for a period of time, unless you change your intent, it is unlikely that the behavior change will be permanent.

Many people read books and take classes on time management, yet often slide back into their old patterns. This is because our deepest intent always governs our behavior. As long as your wounded self is in charge - with its intent to control and not be controlled - you will not be able to permanently change your behavior regarding time management. In fact, this is true regarding any behavioral change.
 

Behavior Changes Easily When Intent Changes

It is changing your intent that is challenging.

Being in control and not being controlled is what seems safe to the wounded self. One of the reasons it is often so hard to shift your intent from controlling to loving is that the wounded self believes that being loving may lead to even more problems. The wounded self does not understand that your spiritual guidance knows much more than you do about being safe, nor does the wounded self understand that when your intent is to be loving to yourself, your spiritual guidance is able to guide you in what is safe for you and in what is in your highest good.

Problems with time management are symptomatic of the intent to control. Instead of trying to deal with the symptom - which never works – try working toward understanding the issue on the level of intent. When, in any given moment, you consciously change your intent from controlling to loving yourself, you will see how easy it is to resolve your time management problems, and most of your other problems as well!

Join Dr. Margaret Paul for her 30-Day at-home Course: "Love Yourself: An Inner Bonding Experience to Heal Anxiety, Depression, Shame, Addictions and Relationships."