Daily InspirationOften, when you feel anxious and stressed, it is because you are trying to control something you cannot control. The moment you choose to surrender - to "Let go and let God", you will notice that the anxiety and stress release. By Dr. Margaret Paul
'Eye-opening - incredibly insightful. I finally feel like I have taken responsibility for loving myself by committing to this weekend. I truly did not realize how much worth I put on external factors to define my worth.' Kripalu Workshop, 9.12
'As I go through life changes - a new job, a new relationship, the loss of someone/something, I can lose my way. This workshop helped me to get back on the path where I need to be.' Weekend Workshop - Kripalu - Lenox, MA 9.14
"This has been an amazing experience. My awareness of my part in my last relationship has increased a lot, as has my awareness of how badly I treat myself. I am hopeful about continued healing and learning to love myself and others and not give myself away (or throw myself away)!" L.A. Workshop, 1/08
'I enjoyed the Inner Bonding process, it all came together and made sense at the 5th & 6th Step. I now look forward to applying it to relationships and my profession as an attorney.' Weekend Workshop - Kripalu - Lenox, MA 9.14
COMMENTS BY PARTICIPANTS AT INTERFACE IN BOSTON:
"Outstandingly valuable tools for changing one's life in permanent ways. Margaret Paul is a terrific role model."
"This program was excellent. Very helpful and presented in a way that made it safe to handle."
"Margaret Paul's offering is fantastic, grounded, practical. After years of therapy, [this was] the best thing that happened to me."
"It was an incredible experience. It was far better than I could imagine. I can't believe the depth of feelings I accessed in two days. The combination of lecture and 6-Step session was very rich. Adding the group and pain sharing made it a great method for learning through the four strategies. Margaret was excellent: a top rank presenter, a good facilitator and wonderfully kind human being. She was generous with giving information and with sharing meaningful examples from her own life." L.A. Weekend Workshop, 11/04
Kathy I. Norman, Ph.D
The 6 Steps
The 6 Steps of Inner Bonding
Practicing the Six Steps of Inner Bonding leads you along the spiritual path of healing the shame and self-abandonment of the ego/wounded self, and creates a profound connection with your personal source of spiritual guidance.
The energy that was drained by disconnection and fear now returns to you, allowing you to live life more fully, experience a fulfilling relationship with yourself and others, and learn to manage the challenges of life in a healthy and sustainable manner.
A brief overview of the Six Steps:
Step 1: Willingness to Feel Pain and Take Responsibility for Your Feelings
In Step 1, you move into the present moment and focus within, tuning into your feelings and emotions. You make the choice to be mindful of all your feelings, including your painful feelings, rather than protect against them with substance and process addictions. You make a conscious decision that you WANT to take responsibility for your feelings, which means that you want responsibility for learning how you are causing your own anxiety, depression, anger, guilt and shame with your own thoughts and actions, and that you want responsibility for learning how to nurture the painful feelings of life - the loneliness, heartbreak and grief that are so challenging.
This begins the process of opening you up to receive the positive energy that enlivens and sustains you.
Step 2: Move into the Intent to Learn
In Step 2, you focus in your heart and invite the compassionate presence of your higher self into your heart.
Now you're ready to focus on "intent" - your deepest desire, your primary motivation. There are only two possible intents you can have in any given moment:
- The intent to protect yourself from pain
- The intent to learn about loving yourself
When you are in the intent to learn you are a loving Adult. When you are in the intent to protect and avoid, you are operating from your shame-based ego wounded self.
This commitment to your intention to learn fully opens you up and allows you to connect with your feelings and your higher self.
Step 3: Dialogue with Your Wounded self and Core Self
With kindness, gentleness and compassion toward yourself, you discover the thoughts/false beliefs from your wounded self that may be causing your shame, fear and pain, and you learn how to release anger and pain in appropriate ways. You uncover false beliefs that were created in the past and have led to the self-abandonment that is causing your current pain and shame. You explore what may be happening with a person or event that is causing the core painful feelings of loneliness, heartache, heartbreak, helplessness, or grief. You explore your core Self - your essence, your inner child, which is your feeling self - and discover what brings you joy.
Only when the unconscious false beliefs that have limited you for so long are understood and identified, can they be replaced by new and healthier truths that will nurture and heal you.
In Step 3, you ask yourself questions, such as, "What am I trying to control?" "What am I avoiding feeling with my protective, controlling behavior?"
Step 4: Dialogue with Your Higher Guidance
In Step 4, you ask your spiritual guidance (whatever that is for you): "What is the truth about the thoughts/false beliefs I may have uncovered in Step 3?" And, "What is the loving behavior toward my Inner Child in this situation? What is in my highest good? What is kind to myself?" You open and allow the answers to come through you in words, pictures or feelings. The answers may not come immediately, but if you have a sincere desire to learn, they will come.
By staying open to learning, you experience that you are never alone. This is where fears fall away and you begin to receive all the love and wisdom you need to take loving action for yourself and with others.
Step 5: Take Loving Action
Step 5 is about telling yourself the truth and taking the loving action based on the information that came through from your guidance in Step 4.
You have opened to your pain, moved into learning, started a dialogue with your wounded self and core self, and tapped into your spiritual guidance. In step 5 you take the ‘loving action' that, over time, heals the shame, anxiety and depression that have been the result of your self-abandonment.
Step 6: Evaluate Your Action
Once you take the loving action, you check in to see if your pain, anger and shame are getting healed. If not, you go back through the steps until you discover the truth and actions that bring you peace, joy, and a deep sense of intrinsic worth.
Turning this daily practice into a way of life is what will protect you from going back into the behaviors and patterns from the past. Much like attending to - say - a child's feelings, you learn to keep a loving relationship with yourself throughout your life, no matter the challenges that come at you. This loving relationship with yourself and your guidance fills you and empowers you to handle life's challenges with strength and equanimity.