The 6 Steps of Inner Bonding
Practicing the Six Steps of Inner Bonding leads you along the spiritual path of healing the shame of the ego/wounded self and creating communion with God/Higher Power. Practicing these steps on a daily basis leads to the development of a loving, spiritually-connected Adult. A brief overview of the Six Steps are presented here.
Step One: Willingness to Feel Pain and Take Responsibility for Your Feelings
Move into the present moment and focus within, tuning into your feelings - the physical sensations within the body. Choose to be mindful of and pay attention to all distressing feelings rather than protect against them with substance and process addictions. Make a conscious decision that you WANT to take responsibility for your feelings.
Step Two: Move into the Intent to Learn
Invite the compassionate presence of Spirit into your heart to help you learn what you may be doing or thinking that may be causing your pain, or what may be happening externally that needs your attention. In Inner Bonding there are only two possible intents in any given moment:
- to protect against pain and avoid responsibility for it through trying to control yourself and others
- to learn about what you are doing or thinking that may be causing your pain so that you can move into loving yourself and others.
When you are in the intent to learn you are a loving Adult. When you are in the intent to protect and avoid you are operating from your shame-based ego wounded self, or child-adult. In Step Two, you welcome and embrace all your feelings with compassion.
Step Three: Dialogue with Your Wounded self and Core Self
Discover the thoughts/false beliefs from your wounded self that may be causing your shame, fear and pain; release anger and pain in appropriate ways; learn about the past that created the false beliefs; nurture your wounded self; explore what may be happening with a person or event that is causing the core feelings of loneliness, heartache, heartbreak, helplessness, or grief; explore your core Self and what brings you joy.
Step Four: Dialogue with Your Higher Guidance
Ask your spiritual Guidance (whatever that is for you): What is the truth about the thoughts/false beliefs you may have uncovered in Step Three? and What is the loving behavior toward your Inner Child in this situation? What is in your highest good? What is kind to yourself? Open and allow the answers to come through you in words, pictures or feelings. The answers may not come immediately, but if you have a sincere desire to learn, they will come.
Step Five: Take Loving Action
Tell yourself the truth and take the loving action that came through from your Guidance in Step Four; put God/Spirit into action. Consciously move into gratitude for your Guidance that is always here for you.
Step Six: Evaluate Your Action
Check in to see if your pain, anger and shame are getting healed. If not, go back through the steps until you discover the truth and actions that bring you peace, joy, and a deep sense of intrinsic worth.
These Steps will come alive for you as you learn and practice the Inner Bonding process.