Accepting ResistanceBy Julie Sponsler, M.A., MFT
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Acceptance is key to being able to open and move into step one of Inner Bonding. This article discusses specific techniques to move into acceptance when in resistance.
"You shouldn't feel this way! There's something really wrong with you if you feel this way! "
This wounded part of me thinks that if it "shoulds" me, (or tries to control) then I will magically feel better, all will be well, and we will live a perfect life filled with love and joy. When I am aligned with this belief, then I am in resistance.
I once heard someone say that acceptance and receiving are the same thing. It's impossible to hear and receive guidance, compassion and love without acceptance of what is. Instead of trying to "push through" resistance or "fix" the resistance, an important step is owning, acknowledging and accepting the resistance, understanding that there's a good reason why it's present.
I have found that when I can own the resistance while acknowledging that there is a good reason for it, then I am able to relax into acceptance for what is, creating a space where I can connect to my higher guidance. One thing I find helpful when in resistance is saying the irrational belief out loud that I am aligning with. For example saying out loud, "In this moment, I am totally aligned with the belief that I should not be feeling this way and that there is something wrong with me." Doing this, as well as consciously making it okay that I am in resistance, can be the antidote to moving out of resistance and into acceptance.
Healing cannot happen without acceptance! Stopping and acknowledging the resistance AND MAKING IT OKAY is key for me in my healing process and sometimes a necessary precursor to step one of Inner Bonding.
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Which will be your guide today, fear or love? Which will light your way today, your desire to control or your desire to learn about loving yourself and others? If you do not consciously think about it, fear and the desire to control will be in charge, for they are the unconscious settings of your internal computer. Today, choose to be conscious of who is in charge, your fearful and controlling ego wounded self, or your loving Adult.
By Dr. Margaret Paul