Inner Bonding on the go...By Mark Lersch
July 19, 2010
Here is a shortened version of Inner Bonding especially useful for the “head-stuck” and in moments of very limited time. (67% fewer steps.) :)
Inner Bonding on the go…
Finding our True Self within the busyness of life
By Mark Lersch
Step One: Know that you are in your Wounded (mentally-created) Self.
Step Two: Drop your awareness out of your head and breathe down into your belly in order to make contact with your Core Self.
How do we know when we are identified with our Wounded Self? Whenever we don’t feel good, we are out of our center and disconnected from our Core. Whenever we feel agitated, angry, upset, stressed-out, depressed, lethargic, dissociated, not-present, top-heavy, stuck, hyper-focused, rigid, anxious, separate, plastic, controlling, helpless and in any experience that does not feel good, we are probably identified with the mentally-created image of ourselves and therefore relating to ourselves and everything in the world as objects to be controlled and manipulated, to be changed and fixed so that then we can feel okay. When we are identified with the Wounded Self we push and we pull and we tweak and we urge and we persuade and we act-out in addictions and we resist and we try to control all of life. So when you notice this, STOP. Breathe and choose to contact/yield to the bigger part of you that cannot be found in your head but can only be found and felt in your Core.
In the moment that we know that we are identified with and therefore operating out of our wounded, mentally-created, egoic “self”, we now have choice. We can choose to come home to our true Self, the Self not created by me, the Self that has always been and always will be a unique individual expression of the Divine. Breathe down into the deep recesses of your belly and find your Self there as an energetic warm pressure of “me-ness”. Rest there. Breathe everything into your Self and allow all fiction to be held and healed here. Open to the wellspring of loving presence that swells the belly and expands into the heart. You are home. Now that you have dropped identification with the character you were playing and remember who you really are, how do you want to do this activity? How do you want to respond to this situation? What do you really want to do in this moment? What is the deeper truth here? Now that you remember who you really are, “do life” from this, your true identity--live life from your belly.
Here is a recent example of how I was able to drop out of my flustered Wounded Self and into my essential Core Self:
I’m already late…rushing to pack the car…hyper focused on the things I need to get done. I stub my toe as I am rushing around--"?#%*!" I go over the trip in my mind. Did I forget anything? What if the car breaks down? How much will it cost? I hope they will like me. I’m late. I better hurry. Did I forget anything? My body seems to follow the lead of my very over-active head as I rush around in a chaotic frenzy. As the thoughts continue to loop through my head and I am precariously attempting to carry a load of stuff out to the car, one of our dogs starts jumping up on me and scratches me with her dirty paws, thwarting my progress and bringing me to a standstill. This is the last straw! It takes all of my self-restraint as rage builds inside.
Suddenly I stop and realize that I have been functioning from my Wounded Self and I now have a choice: kick the evil canine beast who is in my way, or breathe down into my belly a few times and remember who I really am. Thankfully this time I choose to breathe. Immediately and dramatically the world begins to change. Now there is the realization that there is enough time. Why am I in such a hurry?
The dog magically transforms before my eyes from a nameless two-dimensional demonic pest, into a deeply precious living being called “Neena”, who is trying to contact me with her love. I feel myself soften in my body, the warm tingling vibrating energy of my aliveness flowing strongly through me. I feel a pleasant excitement about life. It is good to be alive! I begin to realize that I can choose to delay my trip so that I can sit down and have breakfast with my wife. Wow, those eggs really taste good. As I eat, I feel a sense of meaning and purpose to my life even though I cannot articulate it rationally (and no, it’s not due to the eggs). I feel playful and light. I feel settled-in and at home within myself. The trip ahead no longer feels like a duty or chore and somehow becomes an exciting and fun adventure to which I look forward. I have shifted out of identification with my wounded mind-made self and have opened contact with my Core Self and as a result my whole world has changed.
This is the invitation for all of us. Do we wish to cultivate connection with and learn to live from our Core Self, our very Soul? This is the practice of Inner Bonding in the more formal 6 steps, but this is also the practice of dropping our awareness out of our head and into our belly. Simple, but not always easy to do. Thank you sweet Neena, for your teaching and opportunity to practice.
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Today, ask yourself throughout the day, "What does my inner child need from me as a loving Adult to feel safe in interactions with people? Does my child need me to not take rejection personally? Does my child need me to stay strong in my truth and not give myself up to anyone?" Focus today on creating a safe inner space for your inner child to feel connected with others.
By Dr. Margaret Paul