Feelings...whoa, whoa, whoa, Feelin'By Suzi Korsak
August 12, 2010
Morris Albert wrote these lyrics about trying to forget his wounded feelings of love. Man, those lyrics to that annoying song play in my head when I feel overwhelmed by my Inner Bonding work and unsure if I am doing it “right”. What am I feeling? Is this a wounded feeling or a core feeling? Sometimes this is where one can get caught up in the “What is the 'right' way" to approach this feeling with Inner Bonding. The answer is with love and compassion. Love and compassion open the heart, and with love and compassion one can truly “learn” about the feeling without judgment. All feelings, both wounded and core are sacred gifts, information and all a part of the body, mind and spirit GPS. Each feeling gives one’s current location, and information about our true path. Did I miss a turn? Do I need to adjust? What did I just tell myself? The key here is to approach each feeling with acceptance and honor as you would a gift from a dear friend, knowing that it was from love whether from the wounded place of control wishing to keep you safe from pain or from the core self acknowledging a moment of pain or one of joy.
Begin with thanking your body for the information that it has given to you. Place your hands over your heart and invite in love and compassion to your heart, and acknowledge the gift. When one acknowledges a gift, the heart is open to learn, rather than moving to judge the feeling as wrong, bad or wounded. Once acknowledging the gift, learning can begin by opening to a conversation with the parts of the body where the feeling resides. What would you like to tell me? Is there something I am doing to cause this feeling? Assure your body and all parts of yourself it is safe to speak. There is no “right” way to discovery except openness to learning. Judgment of “right” and “wrong” close the pathway to learning. Freedom occurs when “right” and “wrong” are replaced with learning.
It is when one’s intention to learn is a higher priority than trying to distinguish between wounded and core feelings before beginning the steps that moves you into learning. The direction of the feelings, whether wounded or core will reveal themselves as you stay in your body and travel along the 6-step highway of Inner Bonding. It doesn’t matter so much what kind of feeling, but that you feel. The more you allow yourself to feel, the more the feelings will reveal themselves. It is in each feelings exploration one discovers the roots, and there may be more than one layer, in fact often there are many layers and discoveries within one acknowledged feeling. It is rare a feeling is purely wounded or purely core. Please accept all feelings, do not dismiss a feeling until it has been explored. This is the work of the loving adult, just as a loving parent kisses scraped knees and listens to the “somebody done me wrong” stories of a child with hurt feelings. The loving adult embraces all of the feelings and helps a child navigate back on the path of peace, love, joy and discovery! OK everyone, “happy dance”! …and p.s. if Morris Albert had learned Inner Bonding he might have discovered the difference between the wounded self’s ideas of love and the true joy that real love brings….but we all might have missed out on a laugh or two when it is played on the 70’s Jukebox of Cheese.
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What are you resisting? Are you resisting being controlled by yourself, by another, by God? Look at where you are stuck and notice what you may be resisting. Are you resisting taking loving action for yourself? The way out of resistance is to decide that loving yourself is more important continuing to avoid something. Today, notice your resistance.
By Dr. Margaret Paul