What were celebrations like in your home? Were they fun, connected family times that you looked forward to, or was there something about these times that made you dread them?

When holidays or birthday or anniversary celebrations are upon you, how do you feel about them?. 

___I'm feeling excited! Holidays and celebrations were so much fun in my home when I was growing up. I love the rituals, the decorations, the love and the sharing of gifts.

___I don't feel much about holidays or celebrations. We didn't do much to celebrate in our home and I've never much gotten into celebrations or rituals.

___I dread the holidays and celebrations because I feel so lonely. There was never anyone to connect with as a child and there is no one to connect with now.

___Holidays and celebrations are not fun for me because I hate buying gifts. I was pressured into giving gifts in my family and nothing was ever good enough. I still feel that pressure and it's just not fun.

___I dread the holidays and celebrations because it was over special occasions that I was most abused.

___I used to like holidays when they were simple, but now with all the commercialism, I've come to dislike them.

___I love giving to others on the holidays and celebrations. It beings me great joy to purchase gifts for my family and to give to others who are needy over holidays.

___I look forward to holidays as a time to rest and rejuvenate and share love with those I care about.

___Other______________________________

For those of you who do not look forward to the holidays or celebrations, or who even dread them, I encourage you to do this for yourself:

Next holiday season or celebration, provide your own inner child with the kind of celebration you wished you had as a child.

Tune inside and ask what your little girl or boy would have loved as a child, and provide that for yourself now. Does your inner child want to:

• Get beautiful decorations and enjoy decorating?
   
• Buy fun outside decorations and lights over the December holidays?
   
• Be creative and make your own decorations?
   
• Be creative and design your own ritual?
   
• Invite friends over?
   
• Buy yourself some gifts - things you've always wanted, especially for your birthday?
   
• Give to others by organizing food, clothing or toy drives for children over the December holidays?
   
• Give to others by helping a women's shelter, an assisted living home, a children's hospital, a soup kitchen?
   
• Mend connections with family members or make amends to someone you have hurt?
   
• Go on a wonderful vacation?
   
• Go to a retreat center that has a community celebration?
   
• Go to an amusement park or someplace like a zoo?
   
• Other________________________________

The first thing that needs to happen for you to heal any celebration phobia or anxiety that you might have, is to compassionately embrace the very good reasons you have for not liking celebrations.

The second thing you need to do is decide if you want to just ignore the holidays or celebrations, or if you want to actively heal your celebration phobia or anxiety. It's perfectly okay if you tune into your feelings and find that you just want to leave celebrations alone, but if you find that there is a yearning to have what you didn't have as a child, then I hope you take loving action in your own behalf.

This means looking at the above list and going inside and opening to learning about what your inner child would love to do. If money is an issue, then find something that doesn't cost much that would still be fun for your inner child. You will find that if you create the kind of celebration that your inner child always wanted, much healing can take place.

Join Dr. Margaret Paul for her 30-Day at-home Course: "Love Yourself: An Inner Bonding Experience to Heal Anxiety, Depression, Shame, Addictions and Relationships."