Filling Up Emptiness From The InsideBy Dr. Margaret Paul
February 10, 2014
Discover the cause of inner emptiness and what you need to do to feel full inside.
For many people, inner emptiness is a big problem. They believe that they can fill their emptiness from the outside, which is a false belief.
The cause of inner emptiness is a lack of a loving connection with your inner child - your essence, your true Self, your Being, which then results in an inability to share love with others. Loving yourself and sharing your love with others is what creates fullness.
When you stay focused in your head, rather than being in your body with your feelings, and when you turn to various addictions such as substance, process, self-judgment, and love addiction, you are abandoning your feelings – abandoning your inner child – which creates emptiness. You might then turn to the very same self-abandoning actions in an attempt to avoid your emptiness - a vicious circle.
"Hi Margaret. I eat loads of junk food when I am feeling empty. I try to dialog with my inner child but I can't get the answer to why I overeat. I know she needs to feel love from me but how can I give her this love? Is sitting there and feeling my feelings an act of self-love?
Rebecca, you have actually answered your own questions. You are overeating because you feel empty, and you feel empty because of the lack of inner love resulting from this self-abandonment. You are asking an important question, "… how can I give her this love? Is sitting there and feeling my feelings an act of self-love?"
To get the answer, imagine that you are sitting with an actual child who is feeling badly. If you just sat there with her, would she feel loved by you? Likely not. To feel loved, she would need you to hold her with much kindness, caring and compassion – which comes through you when you are open to learning with your spiritual Guidance. She would need you to be open to learning about why she is feeling badly – even if you are the cause of her upset.
Your inner child needs the same thing. She needs for you to be open to learning with her about how you are abandoning yourself, which results in feeling empty. She also needs you to be open to learning with your Guidance, so you can receive love in your heart and learn about what would be loving to you. In other words, if you consistently practice Inner Bonding, you can heal your emptiness and your resulting overeating.
"Is it possible to avoid feeling a bit emptier and less confident when someone rejects you in an 'unbeautiful' way? When the guy that I was dating realized I am meant for something serious but not just having fun, he cut me off his life in a rude and immature way."
Yes, Sarah, it is possible. When someone rejects you in a rude way, it will always feel hurtful in your heart. We will always feel some heartache when others are unloving. But if you feel emptier and less confident, it means that you were making him responsible for your fullness and confidence – you were giving your inner child away to him. You might want to explore what you were making him responsible for, regarding your wellbeing.
"In my moments, I feel full but if I stray away from the present then I fall into the empty. It's a daily practice in staying full, yes?"
Yes! In fact, it's more than a daily practice – it's a moment-by-moment practice. Step One of Inner Bonding is about staying present in your body moment-by-moment.
Sandy, you are saying something very important here. You feel full when you are in the present moment! This is a key to feeling full. It's only when we are in the present moment that we can feel the love-that-is-God. When we are focused in a negative way on the past or future, which is what our ego wounded self does to control, we will always feel empty.
The more we practice being present with love in this moment, and then sharing our love with others, the fuller we feel!
Join Dr. Margaret Paul for her 30-Day at-home Course: "Love Yourself: An Inner Bonding Experience to Heal Anxiety, Depression, Shame, Addictions and Relationships."
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If you are not letting yourself do what brings you joy, attend to what you fear that is stopping you. Do you fear rejection or failure? Do you fear doing well and then losing your free time, or then not living up to expectations? Not following your joy and passion indicates that your loving adult is not creating a safe space for your essence to express itself. Today notice the beliefs that are limiting you.
By Dr. Margaret Paul