Where Kindness Comes FromBy Dr. Margaret Paul
July 14, 2014
Do you allow your natural kindness to shine forth?
"Kindness is an inner desire that makes us want to do good things even if we do not get anything in return. It is the joy of our life to do them. When we do good things from this inner desire, there is kindness in everything we think, say, want and do." ~Emmanuel Swedenborg, 1688-1772, Scientist, Philosopher and Theologian
Kindness is a natural aspect of our essence, our true soul self – our inner child. Whenever I ask my clients to open to learning with their spiritual Guidance about who they were as small children – before they learned their fears and beliefs - they invariably say that they were kind, loving and caring little beings.
Yet many people have problems finding that inner desire to do good things with no reward from others. Many people have never experienced the joy of operating from that inner desire to be kind and caring. Instead, they have been programmed to give only when they expect to get something in return. They may feel a momentary good feeling from getting what they want from another – approval, attention, monetary gain, sex and so on – but then they need to keep giving to get, in order to receive more of the momentary good feeling. They completely bypass the great joy that comes from being kind to others from a place within that is full of overflowing love.
What happened to the innate inner desire to do good things? What happened to kindness being a part of "everything we think, say, want and do?"
When kindness was not a part of everything our parents said and did, we got hurt. Because of this hurt – and because of their role modeling - we developed walls to protect us from the pain of not being loved in the way we needed to be. The more walls we built, the more we may have shut ourselves off from our beautiful, kind, loving essence.
Even if you don't feel kind most of the time, that essence isn't gone. True, it may be buried, but it’s never gone. You CAN learn to experience the great joy that comes from unconditional kindness.
Our essence is the part of our soul that exists within our body, and our soul, as I said above, is naturally kind. Our soul is a spark of the Love-that-is-God. Since love is that which is unconditionally kind, caring and compassionate, when we connect with our soul, we are connecting with our natural and Divine ability to be kind with ourselves and with others.
If you want to experience the great joy that comes from being kind, then start to focus on kindness in thought, words and actions. Make kindness to yourself and to others your highest priority. You will feel joy when the kindness that springs from your soul essence is being manifested in your moment-to-moment life.
Take a breath and think for a moment: what is more important to you than kindness? What do you believe will bring you more joy than kindness? What do you believe you can get that will truly make you happy – not just for the moment, but in a deep full way?
Now examine what you came up with that you think will bring you joy. Are you certain that whatever it is – money, a relationship, fame, sex – will actually bring you deep and long-term joy? If it were money, then all rich people would be filled with joy, and this clearly isn't the case. It’s the same with all the other things that you might believe will bring you joy.
All of these things are wonderful and certainly add to life, but true joy comes from being kind to yourself and others – from loving yourself and sharing your love with others.
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Today, notice what you do when pain comes up - especially the pain of loneliness and heartache when someone is being unloving with you. Do you get irritated, angry or judgmental? Do you resist or withdraw? Do you people-please and give yourself up? Do you numb out with food or other substances, or with activities such as TV? Notice the ways you might be avoiding your feelings rather than compassionately attending to them.
By Dr. Margaret Paul