Daily Dialog: New Year's DayBy Karen Kral
January 01, 2015
It is New Year's Day, and my Wounded Self is up to her old shenanigans. Let's see what the Inner Child and Guidance have to say about the Wounded Self's struggle to "fix" me today.
Daily Dialog: New Year's Day
by Karen Kral, M.A., LPC
Do you have difficulty connecting with your inner child or spiritual guidance in a way that feels personal, profound and life changing? If you struggle to do so, please read my “Daily Dialogs”. I hope that they will inspire you to move into a deeper and more meaningful relationship with your inner child and your guidance.
Today is New Year’s day, and I woke up with anxiety. Here is the dialog I had with my Inner Child and spiritual guidance.
Loving Adult: Inner Child, what am I doing or saying that’s making you feel so anxious and frustrated this morning?
Inner Child: You’re not here with me. It’s New Year’s Day and you are not celebrating it with me. Instead, you are being mean to me. You’re criticizing me and telling me that I’ve been messing up for my whole life. Why do you have to be mean to me? Why do you have to pressure me and pick on me all the time? Why do you have to tell me that I’m wasting my life; that I’m not spiritual enough; that I’m not doing it right; that I’m missing something—some key ingredient? Why do you always have to blame me? If you really want to know why we’re unhappy, well HERE’S your answer! It’s right in front of your face. It’s that you blame me and you pressure me and you tell me that something is WRONG. What if NOTHING were wrong, Mommy? What if things just WERE—exactly the way they are and that NOTHING is WRONG?
If nothing’s WRONG, then you don’t need to try to fix anything or to fix ME! You keep telling me that something’s WRONG. Then, because you believe something’s WRONG, you spend the REST OF YOUR LIFE trying to find a solution.
NOTHING is wrong.
NOTHING needs to change.
NOTHING needs to be fixed.
ALL of this is an EXCUSE to NOT HAVE TO BE PRESENT WITH ME (or with the world). The moment you try to fix or solve is the moment you have abandoned me.
Loving Adult: Wow, you’re right, sweetheart. I’m so sorry I keep telling you that something is wrong and I keep avoiding being present with you. Guidance, why does the Wounded Self always want to want to avoid presence?
Guidance: Hello my child. I am here with you. I am pleased that your Inner Child has helped you become aware of the core problem.
The Wounded Self doesn’t want to become present because she does not wish to find GOD. Where presence is, GOD IS, because you are never separate from your Source.
The Wounded Self may pretend to go along with you on a journey to “find God”, but the Wounded Self never truly wants you to find God. The Wounded Self is invested in its separate self and cherishes this above all else. With presence comes non-separation, and the Wounded Self cannot survive in non-separation. The only way for the Wounded Self to maintain the illusion of its separateness, its “real-ness”, is for it to strive constantly to keep you from the truth of your own Self. By keeping you busy, distracting you, sending you on wild goose chases, and by “seeking” God, peace, happiness, wholeness, etc., it constantly keeps these at bay. In the very act of seeking, you avoid stopping and finding yourself—finding God, finding peace, right here in this present moment.
There is nowhere to go. There is nothing to strive for. Striving drives you away from your Source. It does not bring you nearer to It. All that you ever wanted or needed is not “out there” in the future. It is not the result of long hours of work. It is not the result of effort. It is right here, right now.
You don’t need to set resolutions.
You don’t need to change your life.
You don’t need to change anything about yourself.
You don’t need to set things straight.
You don’t need to figure things out.
You don’t need to find the missing link.
You just need to stop right here and be present with the Self you’ve been avoiding.
Yes, this is terrifying for the Wounded Self. When you truly stop and allow the Light of who you are to come forward into this present moment, the Wounded Self cannot survive there. And, this is the “death of the ego.” All real fears of death are not about physical death of the body, but about this death, the death of the Wounded Self.
There has never been a Wounded Self because the “Wounded Self” is built on illusions, on false beliefs. There has never been a “separate” you. There has never been a “bad” you, an “unworthy” you, a “you” who has much to accomplish or much to set right. There has only ever been Love. Sourced from the wellspring of Love, this is what you are.
When you open fully to the present moment, with no stories about the past and not worries about the future, you come face-to-face with your Creator, because you are not separate from your Creator and you never have been.
The Wounded Self falls away and disintegrates as you merge back into the One True Self. This is the death your Wounded Self has feared all along. It is the death of the Ego, the death of separation.
All problems dissolve when you open to the truth of your Light right here in the present moment.
In order for the Wounded Self to survive, to convince you that it is REAL, it must make you believe that there are problems to solve. If it can keep you seeking, then it has succeeded.
Do you want problems, or do you want peace? If you truly want peace, then choose it.
Karen Kral is a licensed psychotherapist who offers Inner Bonding Intensives and Workshops in the Boulder, Colorado area and around the country. Please check out www.corequestpotential.com for information on Karen’s upcoming intensives and workshops, or see the 5-Day, 3-Day and Weekend Intensives and Weekend Workshop headings on the Events page of the Inner Bonding website. Karen lives just outside of Boulder, CO with her husband, Mark Lersch, who is also a Certified Facilitator of Inner Bonding.
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|Words from the Wounded Self|
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We all want connection. We don't want to feel alone and lonely and we have many addictions to avoid these feelings. Yet the moment we connect with Spirit and with ourselves, we do not feel alone, and then we can manage the loneliness when we are not connected with others. Today, do not leave your inner child alone. Bring the love of Spirit to your Self so that you can manage the times of loneliness.
By Dr. Margaret Paul