What Makes You Feel Worthy and Lovable?By Dr. Margaret Paul
June 04, 2018
Discover what makes you feel worthy and lovable and what false beliefs might be in the way of taking this loving action.
Take a moment to think about this: What do you believe makes you feel worthy and lovable?
- Do you believe you are worthy when you receive others’ approval?
Do you believe that you will feel worthy when you lose weight or look a certain way?
Do you believe you will feel worthy when you make a certain amount of money, or have a certain amount of money in the bank, or when you have the house or car or boat you've always wanted?
Will you feel worthy and lovable when the person of your dreams loves you and chooses you?
Will you feel worthy when you have the children you have always wanted?
- Will you finally feel worthy and lovable when you are famous?
I have worked with clients who have achieved all of these things that they believed would finally make them feel worthy and lovable, only to discover that it did not work.
WANTING to take responsibility for your own feelings is essential for your inner child to feel loved, lovable and worthy. When you don't WANT this responsibility and instead make others responsible, and take responsibility for others' feelings, the message to your inner child is that he or she is not worthy of your care.
Even if you do loving things for yourself - such as get massages, take baths, eat well and exercise - if you don't consciously WANT responsibility for staying present and attentive to all your feelings - for nurturing your core painful feelings, and for noticing and changing your thoughts that cause your wounded feelings (Step 1 of Inner Bonding) - your child will feel abandoned, unlovable, and unworthy.
Wanting responsibility for your own feelings and learning how take this responsibility, moment by moment, is the essential ingredient in feeling lovable and worthy. Yet most people don't want this responsibility.
What are your beliefs that are stopping you from wanting this responsibility?
- Do you believe that you can't do it - that you are not capable of taking responsibility for your own pain and joy?
It is true that your wounded self is not capable of this responsibility. But when you are a loving adult connected with your spiritual guidance, you are more than capable. It’s the consistent practice of Inner Bonding that develops your spiritually-connected loving adult self.
- Do you believe that even if you do take this responsibility, it will never feel as good as when someone else does it for you?
While another's love feels great, it is always temporary, since no one will be with you 24/7. And others always have their own issues - they get angry, withdraw, blame, judge, resist and so on. Only the love you learn to bring in from your higher self is always present and unconditional. And when you do learn to bring this to yourself, you will discover that it feels better and more fulfilling than anything!
- Do you believe that it takes too much time?
The reality is that the time and energy it takes to AVOID responsibility is far greater than the time it takes to take responsibility!
- Do you believe that it isn't your job - that someone else is supposed to make up to you what you didn't receive as a child?
The reality is that no one else wants this job! If you didn’t receive the love you needed as a young child, then it is too late for someone else to do it. And even if someone did try to do it, as long as you are abandoning yourself, you will never feel lovable and worthy. No one can take away the pain of your own self-abandonment.
What makes you feel lovable and worthy is staying in Step 1 of Inner Bonding - staying tuned in to your feelings and wanting responsibility for whatever you are thinking or doing that is causing your pain. What makes your inner child feel lovable and worthy is your devotion to the practice of Inner Bonding!
For profound healing, read my new book, “Diet For Divine Connection.”
Join Dr. Margaret Paul for her 30-Day at-home Course: "Love Yourself: An Inner Bonding Experience to Heal Anxiety, Depression, Shame, Addictions and Relationships."
Photo By Ben Warren
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Information about you from another's wounded self is always about control rather than about love. It is not helpful to you, even if it is accurate. It is loving to you to let others know that you do not want information about yourself unless you ask for it. Ask for it only from people who have your highest good at heart, not from people who have an agenda for you. Ask for it from people who have a strong loving adult.
By Dr. Margaret Paul