How Do You Feel About Yourself?By Dr. Margaret Paul
January 06, 2020
Do you feel worthy or unworthy, lovable or unlovable, adequate or inadequate, secure or insecure, alive and passionate or numb?
Do you feel worthy, valuable, adequate, lovable, and secure?
Or, do you feel unworthy, worthless, inadequate, unlovable, and insecure?
Do you believe that your inner child is worthy enough for you to take loving care of yourself, or do you believe that your inner child doesn’t have enough value to make him or her worthy of being loved by you or by God?
Very often, when I ask my clients why they don't take loving care of themselves, their answer is "I'm not worthy of love. I have no value."
I always feel so sad to hear this.
These people have very good reasons for believing that they are unworthy of love. Generally, they come from families where they were not seen and valued for who they really are. They might have been abused verbally, physically, and/or sexually. Or, their parents felt unworthy and insecure and became role models for self-abandonment. They either learned early that they have no value in the eyes of their parents or caregivers, or that they have no value because their parents saw themselves as having no value. They might have projected this onto God, believing that they have no value to God either. This leaves them stuck trying to get their sense of worth through others' approval for their looks and their accomplishments.
Many of these clients do get much approval for their looks and accomplishments, yet they still experience low self-worth. This is because they see themselves through the eyes of their programmed ego wounded self, rather than through the eyes of their guidance - the eyes of love. No matter how many people love them or approve of them, as long as they continue to define their worth through their wounded self, they will continue to feel badly about themselves.
This can present a conundrum.
If you believe that your spiritual guidance sees you as your parents or caregivers saw you or as they saw themselves, it will be hard for you to turn to your guidance for the truth about yourself - or to even believe that you are worthy enough to have loving guidance. Yet, unless you open to learning with your guidance and give your guidance the authority to define you, you will likely continue to feel unworthy.
How, Then, Do You Discover The Truth About Who You Really Are?
Imagine a baby, any baby. When you think about a baby, is there anything about a baby that is not deserving of love? Most people believe that all babies, including those who are physically or emotionally challenged in some way, are deserving of love. Why is that baby deserving of love and you aren't? Why is your dog or cat or other pet deserving of love and you aren't?
How does that baby experience itself as lovable? By being loved by its parents or caregivers, and by having role models of loving self-care.
You will not discover the beautiful truth of who you are until you make the conscious decision to be caring toward yourself - toward your feelings and needs. Once you choose the intent to learn about loving yourself, you will begin to receive information from your guidance, not only about loving actions toward yourself, but about who you really are.
I assure you that taking kind and caring action toward yourself will result in you discovering the truth about the beauty and magnificence of your soul essence.
Start to free yourself from your feelings of insecurity, inadequacy, and unworthiness by taking loving action on your own behalf, and unleash the power, creativity, passion and joy of your true Self!
Join Dr. Margaret Paul for her 30-Day at-home Course: "Love Yourself: An Inner Bonding Experience to Heal Anxiety, Depression, Shame, Addictions and Relationships."
Join IBVillage to connect with others and receive compassionate help and support for learning to love yourself.
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The avoidance of loneliness, heartbreak and helplessness over others and outcomes is often at the root of controlling, compliant, resistant or addictive behavior. It is helpful to learn to name the feeling we are trying to avoid. When we name it, we can allow it, acknowledge it, embrace it, bring love and compassion to it, and then release it to Spirit. Denying it keeps us stuck. Naming it allows us to manage it, release it and take loving action in our own behalf.
By Dr. Margaret Paul