I grew up living next door to my parents' best friends. Morrie and Betty were like my second parents, and I feel very blessed to have been able to sit in Betty's kitchen and talk with her. While my mother rarely listened to me, Betty always did. Married for 80 years and walking daily, Morrie and Betty were still going strong when Betty died at 103. Morrie is still alive at 1

06 with a clear mind.

A few years ago, I visited them and their daughter, Judith, in Los Angeles. Judith is my childhood friend whom I used to see yearly when I traveled to L.A. They now lived downtown. I was so happy to be able to tell these dear old people how much they meant to me as I was growing up. Betty blinked back tears and told me, "That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a long time."

As Judith and I walked to lunch, past the incredible Disney Concert Hall, I started to feel the familiar tension I feel when in a big city. I had already felt it on the freeway during the drive there, with bumper-to-bumper traffic. Then it dissipated while I was in their sweet condos, only to return while we were walking.

"Do you like living here?" I asked Judith. She and her husband, who also recently passed away, and her parents had recently moved to high-rise condos in an area called Bunker Hill.

"I love it! I love the crowds, the bustling, the sense of community and the tall buildings." She was beaming!

I smiled. Judith and I, while close friends growing up, were always very different, and it had taken me a long time to understand these differences.

I am a highly sensitive introvert, and Judith is an extravert. She doesn't experience the kind of sensitivity to energy that I do. She's a wonderful person and is involved in all kinds of community projects to help others, but some of the things she loves are the very things that make me feel stressed. I was having a hard time being around so many people and cars rushing everywhere, and with the tall buildings blocking out the sky. My sensitive system was feeling a bit overwhelmed with so much energy around me. I could feel the smog in my lungs. It's a good thing I live on a ranch in Colorado!

"Does the smog bother you?"

"No! Look how clear it is! You can even see the mountains! It's so much clearer than when we were kids when you couldn't even see the mountains."

Our perception of 'clear' was so different! I looked and saw a mountain greyed out behind a film of smog. I could not help but compare it to the beautiful and clear Rocky Mountains that I see daily in Colorado.

She is the norm and I'm the different one.

Growing up not understanding this made me feel that there was something wrong with me. Now I value my high sensitivity and introversion, because I couldn't be doing the work I do without it, but growing up in an extraverted culture was hard. Kids were valued for being funny, gregarious and seemingly secure. And since only 15-20% of the population are highly sensitive and introverted, it was hard for shy and quiet me to feel like I fit in. I liked being with the extraverted kids, but I always thought I was supposed to be like them.

Life changed for me when I finally realized that I can't be like those gregarious kids, and that there is nothing wrong with me for being so different from them. With the experience of being isolated with COVID-19, I’m so grateful that all this isolation is fine for me!

I hope those of you who are highly sensitive and introverted have learned to value these gifts. While sometimes challenging, the benefits far outweigh the challenges.

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