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Losing Friends When You Are on A Healing Path

By Dr. Margaret Paul
March 25, 2024

Are your old friendships falling away as you practice Inner Bonding? Are you feeling afraid that you will end up alone?

Feeling aloneHave you noticed that as you do your Inner Bonding work, certain of your relationships change or fade or even vanish? Have you wondered why you might have fewer friends now than you did before you started on a healing path? Have you felt that you needed to reach out and try to make things right again in your friendships, yet found yourself not knowing how to do this, or even if doing this is what you really want? Are you telling yourself that if you don't fix these friendships you will end up alone, with no friends?

Most of the people I work with go through a period where they seem to have few friends. If their old friends have not joined them on a healing journey, they find that they no longer have much in common with them. 

Differences in Frequency

When you do Inner Bonding consistently, your frequency gets higher. The old saying "Birds of a feather flock together" is actually very true when it comes to relationships. We enjoy being with people whose vibration is similar to ours. So, it makes sense that if you have been doing Inner Bonding and your friends haven't, your frequencies may no longer line up. While you may still love your old friends, you might find that you just don't connect with them the way you used to. As much as you may want to make things "right", you know that you really can't. There is nothing you can do to have the same level of connection as you did before with some of your old friends, and with some members of your family. This doesn't mean that you need to let go of your old friends or family members. It means that you need to accept the level of loneliness or disconnection that you have with them and not expect it to be different than it is. It means that you need to learn how to manage the feelings of loneliness and disconnection from others.

The challenge is to have the faith that new friends will eventually come into your life. I reassure people over and over that new friends WILL come in - it will just take time. Since "like attracts like," you will eventually draw in people with whom you can connect on the deeper level that you may now want in your relationships.

New Friends Are Coming!

Instead of scaring your inner child with statements such as "We will end up alone without friends," or telling yourself that "there must be something wrong with me that I don't have any friends or that I can't connect with my friends anymore, " or "I have to do something to fix my old friendships but I don't know what to do," it would be far better to tell yourself that it is normal for friendships to change as you change, and that new friends are coming.

You might want to consider putting yourself into those situations where you are likely to meet like-minded people. Sometimes people find their new close friends at Inner Bonding Intensives. Others find them at progressive churches, temples, or synagogues, or in doing some form of service, or in taking classes. Doing things you love to do is a great way of meeting like-minded people. But the main issue is your thinking. If you listen to your guidance, your guidance might be telling you that it feels more honest to connect with people out of caring than from the compulsion to make things right again or from the fear of being alone. Your guidance might be telling you to have patience - that you are a good person and a great friend and that there is no doubt that new people are coming into your life.

Heal your relationships with Dr. Margaret’s 30-Day online video relationship course: Wildly, Deeply, Joyously in Love.



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