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Are You Loving Yourself Enough?

By Nancy Swisher
June 23, 2008

In this article, IB Facilitator Nancy Swisher describes the importance of choice when it comes to loving yourself and using the Inner Bonding process.

 Do You Love Yourself Enough?

“At this very moment the universe is trying to manifest miracles through your visions,
intuitions, and longings.  Imagine that your inklings are God’s whispers to your heart.
The same God that gave you the idea will give you the means and support to see it through.  The world is being transformed through people like you, who love themselves
enough to trust their inner guidance,
and relax enough to let the universe take care of the means.”  Alan Cohen

I underlined the last sentence of the above quote for emphasis.  This is the sentence that
strikes me when I read the quote.  This is the sentence that the rest of the quote hinges upon.  

How do you know if you are loving yourself enough?  One way to know this is to tune in to how you feel.  Are you feeling good?  Happy?  Peaceful?  Grateful?  Or are you feeling afraid?  Uncertain?  Worried?  Angry?  

The better feeling states indicate that you are loving yourself in that moment, that you are aligned with your Inner Being, with Spirit.  That you are open to your Guidance, to hearing or feeling “God’s whispers.”  The more negative feeling states indicate that you are not in alignment with your Inner Being, that you are blocking the flow of Love through you and as you.  In other words, the negative feeling state indicates that your ego or wounded child is in control.  When you are in this state, it is impossible to access the visions and longings of your Essence.

Many times, my clients tend to judge themselves if they are feeling anything other than happy and peaceful, as if they are wrong for being afraid, or for being in the ‘same place they were in months before.  But judgment only keeps you stuck.  The so-called negative feelings are there for a reason.  And that reason is to alert you to the fact that you are, in that moment, cutting yourself off from Love, from the flow of universal energy through you.   When you have been practicing feeling the negative feeling and the false beliefs that create it for decades, it takes support and practice and time to change the pattern.

However, if you were not in a negative feeling place, you would not have the opportunity to learn to master how to move through it to a higher emotional state!  This is one way that we evolve in our ability to love ourselves and others.

All of us feel afraid or worried, or some other negative feeling from time to time.  The negative feeling is your signal to tune in and choose to see what you are thinking or doing that’s causing your fear.  This is Step One of Inner Bonding.  But before even choosing step one, you must absolutely care about how you feel!  If you don’t care about how you feel, you will allow yourself to hang out in worry all day, or fear or anger.  You must have a strong desire to feel good, to work your way to better, higher feeling states if you truly want your life to reflect the highest and best version of you.  You must have a commitment to learning how to love yourself, to Being the love that you are.

No one can make you have this desire.  It is up to you.  This is your choice.  By staying tuned in to how you feel and taking responsibility for how you feel-- by practicing Step One--you have the opportunity to choose to be aware of whatever feeling state you are in, and to explore it and change it as you work through the steps of Inner Bonding.  By working your way through the six-steps, you will explore and change your feeling state to a higher level of Being.  This is the choice-point from which you can consciously create your day, the choice-point where you send the message to your subconscious mind and to all the Inner Children inside, that you absolutely care about how you feel and are committed to receiving Love and Guidance so that your Essence can manifest itself.

So, are you choosing?  Right now, in this moment, as you read these words, are you choosing to feel what you are feeling?  When you awakened this morning, did you take a moment to feel?  To breathe into your body?  To find something to be grateful for?

Or did you awaken into a negative feeling state of stress or worry.  And if so, did you take a moment to sit in stillness to connect with your Spirit?  Or did you ignore the stress, acting as if you have no control over it?

Don’t judge.  Be aware.  Every moment is a choice-point.  And when you view your life in this way, you DO love yourself enough.  You send the message to the Universe that YES, you care our how you feel and you want to be an expression of Love.

The Inner Bonding Process is waiting for you to use it!  But the choice to do so is yours.  
Your Inner Being is waiting to shine, but you are the one who must pull away the clouds.
If that means getting support to do so, then get support.  If that mean scheduling 30 minutes a day to practice Inner Bonding, then do that.  Love yourself enough to be at choice in your life, and your life will transform.  

Nancy Swisher, MA MFA is a Certified Inner Bonding Facilitator, Prosperity Partnership Guide and Emotional Freedom & Healing practitioner.  She can be reached at 319-338-7833 or at  Her website is coming soon!


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