"How do I stop letting my wounded self run my life?"
"How do I stop trying to control everything, and let go?
"How do I stop judging myself and ruminating about what others think?"
"How do I let go of having to be right all the time?"
"How do I surrender my ego and allow myself to be guided?"

Sylvie asks:

"I have become present to how hurt I am and have maintained that state of being without even realizing it. It shows itself through constant sabotage, stubbornness, always wanting to make my mark and often wanting to be right. A regular know-it-all. As delightful as that might be sometimes, it is not working for me. HOW do I surrender my ego and allow myself to be guided?"

Clients ask me this all the time: "How do I let go?"

The wounded self would love for this to be a 'how.' The wounded self likes rules to follow, and would love to be able to have control over letting go. But this is an oxymoron. You cannot be trying to control something and be letting go at the same time!

It's Not About 'How' – It's About Intent.

As long as your intent is to control your feelings, or control what others think and feel about you and the outcome of things – you will not be able to let go and let yourself be guided by your higher self. Your self-sabotage, stubbornness and having to be right are all forms of control.

When your intent is to control, your heart closes and your frequency lowers too much to be able to hear your guidance. The big challenge in letting go and letting God is in letting go of control.

We all have many, many layers of different kinds of controlling behaviors. We can't just let them go because often we don't even know we are being closed and controlling. 

Mindfulness is Vital

When you shift your intent to learning about loving yourself and others, that's when you will start becoming aware of your intent to control and the resulting controlling behaviors. By being on the path of mindfulness about your own feelings, behavior, and intent, you can slowly heal the addiction to control. The less often your intent is to control, the more often your heart will be open to learning and the more you will naturally experience your higher guidance.

So, when clients ask me 'How do I hear my guidance?" my answer to them is, "What are you doing to stop yourself from hearing your guidance? What are you trying to control or avoid? How are you rejecting and abandoning yourself? Are you judging yourself, staying in your head rather than in your heart, ruminating about the outcome of things rather than being in the present moment, turning to various addictions or making someone else responsible for your feelings?"

As long as you are avoiding feeling your feelings and taking responsibility for them by closing your heart with your controlling, addictive, self-rejecting or obsessive behaviors, you will not be able to hear your guidance.

Letting Go and Letting God

Letting go and letting God is the result of consistently practicing Inner Bonding. Your guidance is always here supporting you in your highest good, but you will not be able to let go to hearing and following your guidance as long as your intent is to control. Any moment that you are truly open to learning about loving yourself, you will be able to access the love and wisdom that is here for you.

It's not that it's hard to access your guidance – what's hard is letting go of control. That's the challenge. The more you practice Inner Bonding and develop your strong, reliable loving adult, the easier it will become for you to let go and let God.

Learn to connect with your spiritual Guidance with Unlocking Your Inner Wisdom, A 30-Day at-home Experience with Dr. Margaret Paul.

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