Begin Training NOW! For the Wounded-Self Olympics! .....Oh, wait, you already have.......By Nancy Weston
February 11, 2010
Have you ever wondered if there were a way to not be so serious about and in such pain and shame over your wounded self's behavior? Tune in to the article about the "Wounded Self Olympics" to discover a new way to look at your wounded parts.
A few weeks ago while I was hosting a chat, a participant began to talk about his wounded self’s behavior, running-rampant . This prompted another participant to exclaim, “You think THAT’S wounded? Let me tell you about what is going on with MY wounded self!” A third participant began, “ Well, MY wounded self ....” At this point I interjected, “Whoa! Are we in competition here to see who has the most wounded self?” (LOL and chuckles all around!)
At that moment I thought of the Special Olympics and decided that we could have a little fun by creating our own Games, so I asked the chatters if they would like to help me create “THE WOUNDED SELF OLYMPICS.” (More LOL’s and chuckles all around!)
We all jumped in with ideas, creating and laughing all the while. I am going to share our group’s brainstorming, with added “events” and explanations from me; apologies to the group for not remembering/knowing exactly who contributed what.
1) Off-the-Track Thinking - Notice what you are thinking and what you are telling yourself. If you are feeling better, you are on track (not good for this event). Quickly find a wounded part that can line up some false beliefs for you to invest in so that you can get back off track into the wounded lanes.
2) Throwing the Blame-Discus - This is a particularly fun event, as you get to find as many scapegoats as possible (parents/spouses fit well here) that you can hit, while exclaiming “It’s your fault that I am not happy!”
3) High-Drama Diving - The more dramatic energy you can work up, the more other people you can draw into a state of turmoil. Also, the better the soap-opera dialogue, the more likely you are to win this event. Be sure that your warm-up for this event includes this mantra: “Let me tell you about me, because no one comes even close to having problems like mine.”
4) Marathon Obsession - The training for this event is especially grueling: one must be able to try to control the outcome of many events with thoughts (e.g. “If I worry enough about what my ex-wife is saying about me, I can have control over it.”)
5) Uneven Brain Bars - Many years of training are necessary to make sure that the ego-brain is strong enough to override the higher-self mind.
6) Walking the Unbalanced Beam - The competitor who wins is able to keep his/her life in a constant state of stress and indecision. Competitors score extra points for falling on their Olga KorBUTTS.
7) Child-Adult Triathlon - This event has three favorite wounded-self addictions: storytelling, explaining, and justifying. The person who is able to keep someone else engaged the longest, without that person falling into a stuporous sleep, wins.
8) Unsynchronized Dialoguing - The winner is person who is able to caretakingly carry on the longest dialogue with someone else’s bear.
9) Victim Relay Race - No one wins, because each member of the relay team just keeps passing the blame to someone else.
10) Three-Legged Race - No one wins this event, because the wounded parts are too enmeshed to get far enough to cross the finish line.
11) Floored by Exercise Gymnastics - The thought of exercising causes the wounded self to procrastinate until when s/he finally tries to exercise, s/he passes out.
12) Rings - The winner is the one able to think in circles for the longest time.
13) Abysmal Archery - Like being one of Dante’s levels of Hell, the wounded self tries over and over to score, but just keeps missing the mark.
14) Canoeing - The goal is is to try to run up Caretaking Creek without a paddle. Note that you have forgotten to pack your 6-Steps Lifejacket.
15) Comparison Golf - Competitors try to use their emotional handicaps to one-upmanship each other; no one is on a par with anyone else.
16) Slow-Lane Swimming - The way to win this event is to decide to crawl-stroke your way as slowly as possible to becoming a Loving Adult.
17) Thug-of-War - In this event, all the Wounded Self parts line up on one side of the rope, hoping to bully anyone (self or other) into submission. On the other side put a wounded self part masquerading as Guidance. Then complain that Guidance never comes through for you. Allow the Loving Adult to stand by helplessly watching (be sure to pretend that you do not recognize him/her).
18) Wait-Lifting - See how long you can hold out in misery as your Wounded Selves run the show.
19) Vice-Dancing - For this skating event, a taker needs to pair up with a caretaker. See who can exert the most control without being detected.
20) Bad-Worse-WorstMitten - Keep telling yourself that tomorrow you will actually enroll as a Loving Adult, assisted by Guidance. In the meantime, try to keep the birdie of commitment “up in the air” as long as possible.” (Don’t try for the Guiness Book Of Records Title for this one: it’s already been won.)
A few guidelines:
Be sure that you enroll each wounded self part in the appropriate event. If you have questions, ask MissGuidance (aka wounded self).
If you find yourself running short of training and travel money, put out an appeal to one of the many advertisers that cater to addictions: alcohol, food, cigarettes, drugs, etc. If you are lucky, you can become a spokesperson for one of these. (Caution: payment is in the form of pain vouchers; no actual cash can be accrued this way.)
Remember that an important goal in the Wounded Self Olympics is that no one part wins; all tie for the “This Doesn’t Work Anymore” award!
When I personally began to be more compassionate towards my wounded self, when I began to see the discovery of a new wounded part or false belief as a prize in a treasure hunt, instead of shaming or judging myself for STILL having wounded parts (many of whom wear very creative masks, making easy detection difficult), working the 6-Step Process became more fun and less serious.
Although being in pain in no laughing matter, having fun with the wounded selves reminds us that we have a choice as to how we view the wounded self: as a shadow self that we must hide from others and ourselves, as a villain that we must exterminate, or as a part of ourselves that we can learn about with curiosity, compassion, and creativity. Have fun! We did!
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Become open hearted and willing to learn and choose to be with those who are also open. When two or more are gathered with a willingness to learn about love, there is the deep joyousness of connection.
By Dr. Margaret Paul