Daily Inspiration

Research indicates that happy people create happy relationships, not the other way around! If you believe you need a relationship to be happy, or the "right" relationship, you may stay stuck being unhappy. Unhappy people either don't get into relationships, or often create unhappy relationships. Put your energy into making yourself happy and then see what happens!

By


Are You on Your Mobile Phone? Click here for 2800+ mobile optimized, self help and self growth articles.

"What Are They Thinking About Me?"

By Dr. Margaret Paul
December 13, 2010



How would you feel and what would you do differently in your life if you gave up worrying about what others think of you - if you gave up your illusion of control over others' feelings and thoughts?



"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do."
--Eleanor Roosevelt

Why should most people be thinking about you? They are far more concerned with what you are thinking about them to spend time thinking about you!

Right now, take a moment to ponder the question: "How would I feel and what would I do differently if I never thought about what people think of me?"

I pondered this question many years ago and discovered some things that changed my life:

  • I discovered that I felt anxious whenever I worried about what someone thought of me, which made it impossible to be myself. As soon as I was concerned about their judgment or approval, I tried to become what I thought they wanted me to be to gain their approval. This made me so tense that even if I got their approval, I still felt bad.

  • I discovered that I was drawn to being with judgmental people - people who were very much like my parents - and I was addicted to trying to get these judgmental people to approve of me. I saw that this was a dead end - that I had no control over getting judgmental and rejecting people to be loving and kind, and I stopped being drawn to these people.

  • I discovered that even if I got their approval, it was always short-lived and I had to keep looking good and performing right to get it again. This was an exhausting way to live.

  • I discovered that no matter how hard I worked on doing things right and being perfect and never making a mistake or failing, some people liked me and some didn't. I learned that if I was just myself and gave up being right and perfect, some people liked me and some didn't. I finally saw that trying so hard to get love or approval was a complete waste of my time and energy!

  • I discovered that I was confusing love and approval. I learned that love is that which is unconditional and that people either gave it freely or they didn't and it was not something I could earn or control. I might be able to control getting some approval, but not love.

  • I learned that, while approval felt good for the moment, it never fully filled me with love for myself, or confidence in myself.

  • I discovered that when I gave myself the approval, love and attention that I was trying so hard to get from others, life became much easier and more fun!

By really paying attention to my feelings and actions, I was able to completely give up even thinking about what others thought of me. I discovered the truth of what Terry Cole Whitaker said in the title of her book, "What Others Think Of Me Is None Of My Business."

It is such a freedom to never think about what others think of me! I am free to speak my truth, to say yes or no according to what is in my highest good, to love with my whole heart and soul, to freely offer my gifts and talents, to trust my own feelings and higher guidance rather than buy into others' beliefs and opinions, to not be controlled by fear of making a mistake or fear of others' judgment, to laugh as loud as long as I want as I want, and to cry when I am hurting or moved.

I am free to love myself and share my love with others with no agenda regarding how they will feel about me, and this is the greatest joy of all.



Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs
CC BY-NC-ND


Send this article to a friend    Print this article    Bookmarked 11 time(s)
Bookmark and Share    Share with Del.icio.us    submit 'What Are They Thinking About Me?' to digg Share with Digg    Share with StumbleUpon
There are no videos, Click to add one to the gallery!
There is no audio, Click to add audio to the gallery!
There are no pictures, Click to add one to the gallery!

Comments


More Help

Looking for help with "What Are They Thinking About Me?"?

Search for solutions on "What Are They Thinking About Me?" within the InnerBonding.com website using Google's Site Search.

Click to Share
Facebook Digg it MySpace Twitter Stumbleupon Windows Live Yahoo! My Web Linked in