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New You Old You

By Ivanka Jankovic
December 27, 2010

So often people on a growth and healing path find themselves at a crossroads. They need to choose a new path. Or they need to cross “a bridge”. A bridge is the symbol, a connection between the old you and new you. Old You are your old patterns, habits, beliefs, relationships, health, money and other issues that you have outgrown, and you are ready to let go. New You are all the healing and growth that have been happening for a while. 


Outgrowing and letting go of old stuff that is familiar, while the new you is still not there, could be uncomfortable, scary, or sometimes terrifying. A person can feel very vulnerable, confused or highly sensitive. There are deep fears: What if I do not find anything over there? Am I going to be safe? What if I end up all alone? Each of us would like to get some kind of a proof or a sneak peak into a new reality yet that is not possible. 


Not only is there a fear of the unknown future, but also grief and sadness coming from the realization that the life we imagined we should have had, has not worked out. Both grief and sadness must be honoured. The grieving process should not be rushed, and should be treated with a lot of compassion.


Confusion is definitely part of this kind of change. It can be good or bad. Good confusion means that old patterns are falling off and new ones are not there yet but here and there, there are moments of true clarity. Bad confusion happens when you ramble over the incident from the past, trying to have a different outcome. This kind of confusion can be easily recognized as it is always mixed with exhaustion.


Sometimes this kind of change can be paralysing. One part of you wants to move on; wants to heal and grow and the other part does not want to let go of old stuff.


The only way to cross “the bridge” or choose a new path is to be connected with your spiritual guidance, firmly grounded in your Loving Adult and have Faith that things will turn out for the best. Even if the first two conditions are met, having Faith can be very challenging. It means total trust and surrender to Sprit, allowing it to guide you. And this is where discomfort kicks in, inner chatters gets louder, part of you demands reassurance.  We lost Faith when our primary caregivers were not able to provide the love and care we needed. We had to disconnect to survive. But that disconnection now hurts.


If you just take a moment and tune in you would sense that Spirit is all around, so eager to help and guide you, but cannot do it without being asked. To strengthen your Faith you can:


1.      Revisit your relationship with God or your Source of Love.

If it is anything but loving, caring, supportive, compassionate, and available all the time, you are on, a certain level, disconnected and need to explore what is behind it.


2.      Keep Sprit Supports Me journal.

To really get how much support is out there for you, you would need to open up to it. Set your intent at the beginng of every day that you will notice all the ways Spirit supports you. Once you start doing it you will notice more and more coincidences of big and small support. It is amazing how many things we easily dismiss or discount, believing support needs to be flashy. Every night write in your journal all the ways you were supported that day. Express your heartfelt gratitude and more and more support will come your way, sometimes in a magical way.


3.      Be as loving as you can with yourself during the transition phase.

You need to be as loving as possible while going through this kind of change. It means different things for different people but generally it includes eating healthy, sleeping enough, taking care of your body, choosing to be around people that energize and appreciate you, doing things that nurture you, reaching out for the right support. You do not need to be perfect. You just need to do the best you can in the moment, and if you occasionally slip there is always another opportunity.


Then one day you will find yourself on the other shore. You’ve crossed “the bridge” or you have chosen your new path. Brand new awareness will settle in. New You is more compassionate, wise, grounded, joyful and you really like her. You will understated your past. Your stories will not have power over you any more. You will be greeting every new day with gratitude, looking forward to find out what is in it for you.


“The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change.  So that every new moment is not spent in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding and love”
~Jennifer Edwards


Ivanka Jankovic is a Holistic Practitioner in private practice trained in Aromatherapy, Inner Bonding and Bach Flower essences. She helps people to restore balance into their life, and create a life of joy, fulfilment, purpose and deep meaning. She works with people locally, nationally and internationally via phone or Skype. Visit her web site www.gaiahc.com


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