Why Loving Yourself Creates Sexual Passion With Your PartnerBy Dr. Margaret Paul
February 13, 2017
Discover the great benefits to your relationship in learning to love yourself!
What creates sexual passion?
First, there needs to be sexual chemistry between two people. Sexual chemistry can sustain passion for a while, but it isn't enough in a long-term relationship.
- For sexual passion to continue, partners need to feel emotionally connected with each other.
What creates emotional connection?
In order to connect with a partner in a committed relationship, you need to first be connected with yourself.
- You get connected with yourself by learning how to love yourself.
Here's what happens when you practice Inner Bonding and learn to love yourself:
The more you learn to see and value your true soul essence, the more you can see and value the soul essence of your partner. Being deeply seen and valued by each other creates a deep sense of relationship safety and emotional connection, which then easily translates into sexual passion when two people have chemistry between them.
The more you value yourself, the less you will try to control your partner into taking responsibility for your self-worth and sense of safety. The less you try to control getting love and avoiding pain, the less resistance you create in your partner. This allows the natural chemistry – the chemistry that was likely there at the beginning of your relationship – to flourish.
The more you develop your loving adult, the more open and vulnerable you are able to be. When you can count on you, as a loving adult, to lovingly manage rejection by not taking it personally, and to set loving limits against losing yourself in the relationship, you feel safe. This safety is what allows you to be open and vulnerable, which is what creates connection with your partner and can lead to sexual passion.
The more you learn to connect with your spiritual guidance and fill yourself with love, the more love you have to share with your partner. When two people are filled with love due to loving themselves, they receive great pleasure from sharing their love, which often naturally leads to love making.
The more you discover your core gifts and manifest these gifts in the world – which results from loving yourself - the more interesting you are. When partners are fulfilling themselves, they have much to share with each other. Sharing of their fulfilling lives leads to emotional connection, which can lead to passionate love making. Boredom with each other does just the opposite. The more you learn to love yourselves, the more interesting you both become.
- Far from being selfish, loving yourself is actually the opposite. When you love yourself and are meeting many of your own needs, you are able to let go of expectations of your partner meeting your needs. When you are not needy, you become far more attractive to your partner. Neediness is what's selfish – expecting others to give you what you refuse to give to yourself. And, neediness isn't erotic!
- If you are not in a relationship, loving yourself is what can lead to attracting your beloved. The more you learn to love yourself, the more secure you feel and the more you attract people who love themselves and are inwardly secure. You have a much better chance of creating a loving relationship when you learn to love yourself, than if you are abandoning yourself.
This is just a partial list of the benefits of learning to love yourself. Aside from creating loving relationships and sexual passion, there are also the wonderful benefits of inner peace, joy and the manifestation of your inner gifts and talents!
I hope you can begin to see the great benefits in learning to love yourself!
Join Dr. Margaret Paul for her 30-Day at-home Course: "Love Yourself: An Inner Bonding Experience to Heal Anxiety, Depression, Shame, Addictions and Relationships."
Join IBVillage to connect with others and receive compassionate help and support for learning to love yourself.
Photo by Elvin
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Today, notice all self-judgment as a form of control. "If I judge myself, then others won't judge me." "If I judge myself, I can get myself to perform, to accomplish, to do it right - and then people will like me." "If I judge myself as being flawed and therefore the cause of others' rejecting behavior, I can continue the illusion that I cause - and therefore control - others' feelings and behavior." Today, notice your false beliefs about judgment and control.
By Dr. Margaret Paul