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Pleasure is Our Birthright

By Phyllis Stein, Ph.D.
November 14, 2007

Is physical bliss missing from your life? One of the jobs of the loving adult is to restore our baby selves to the state of bliss that is our birthright.

Long ago, I read a study that showed that when held by their mother babies produce endorphins, our bodies' natural opiates, the internal chemicals that cause experiences like a runner's high. This study found that being held by someone who was not the baby's mother did not have that effect at all. The other day I realized that for a baby born to a loving mother who is connected to the pleasure of her own body, life is really bliss. Being held, being nursed are truly ecstatic experiences for babies and they happen many times a day for months. This is nature's design. It is incredible when you think of it! I realized that experiencing this much bliss creates a reservoir of fullness and joy. Unfortunately, many babies never or almost never get to have this experience. I suspect this deficit may be one of the underlying reasons for depression.

How do we heal this in Inner Bonding? I think this is a physical component of accessing a source of love, only it is accessing a source of physical bliss. I think we access it by having the experience and storing it in our bodies so that we can recreate it for our baby self. Many people, I think, use sex to access this feeling, but I am not sure that this meets the needs of the baby inside because sex is not what a baby needs. For me, to bring the experience of bliss inside has involved body work and energy work. Recently, I have been experiencing physical bliss during Reiki circle healing sessions. As each person touched me with love during the group healing sessions, it has been like a non-stop slow motion orgasm, but without the sexual component. And I know that this is what my baby self would have taken for granted if my mother had not been so wounded. For others, it has been the experience of being held by someone who can bring love without any agenda. I imagine there have been other ways that people have accessed this experience.

So I suggest that part of creating a loving adult is healing on the physical level, releasing the tension and fear that block out the bliss that is our birthright. We replace the false belief that our bodies are supposed to feel uncomfortable with the truth that we are supposed to feel bliss. If we do not have access to that feeling, I suggest that, without judgment, we set our intent to learn how to do it so that we can, in another way, provide our little ones with the love and nurturing that they did not get the first time around.


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Today, slow down. Breathe. Walk more slowly. Be mindful - present to yourself, to others, to your environment, to Spirit. Each moment you are truly present is a moment of enlightenment.


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Today, slow down. Breathe. Walk more slowly. Be mindful - present to yourself, to others, to your environment, to Spirit. Each moment you are truly present is a moment of enlightenment.



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