Are You on Your Mobile Phone? Click here for 2800+ mobile optimized, self help and self growth articles.

The Crazy-making of Projection

By Dr. Margaret Paul
May 28, 2018

Projection created a deep sense of confusion and loneliness in my life for many years.

Six different hands pointing their fingers at a little girl who is crying, illustrating projection. I was raised by parents who consistently projected their disowned wounded aspects on to me, their only child. I was an overly-responsible child, but my mother told me I was irresponsible because she often shirked her responsibilities. She told me I was manipulating when she was the one manipulating. In addition to being very responsible, I had chosen not to have sex until I was in my late teens. However, my sexually-addicted father projected his sexuality on to me from the time I was 13, often warning me not to get pregnant, which was deeply confusing to me. At that time, I didn’t understand that what I felt was profound loneliness from being so unseen. Instead, I just felt badly, learned to take responsibility for their feelings, and became more and more compliant.

In my marriage, my husband often projected his uncaring behavior on to me, telling me that I was the uncaring one and blaming me for his feelings. Of course, since I had been deeply programmed to accept the blame, I continued to be a compliant caretaker, until I became very ill. Becoming ill was the only way my inner child had of letting me know that I couldn’t keep doing this and be okay. This is when I met Dr. Erika Chopich and Spirit brought us Inner Bonding, and I started to learn to love myself.



However, it took me a long time to understand the issue of projection. Time and again, when friends or family members projected their issues on to me, I would open to learning about what they were telling me, trying to understand what I was doing. One of the things that some family members consistently told me was that they couldn’t talk with me because I would spin things and turn it around on to them. This always confused me and I tried valiantly to hear what they were trying to tell me, but I remained confused about it.


Finally, one day my guidance enlightened me…

“These family members are projecting their disowned parts on to you, just as your parents did, and it’s crazy-making for you. Here is what is really happening: when they project onto you that you are closed, judgmental, rejecting, or that you are at fault for something in their lives, you get triggered into the old loneliness of feeling unseen, and you explain and defend. As soon as you do that, they then tell you that you are spinning things and turning it back on to them.

“You need to become very aware of projection and no longer take it on – no longer engaging with them when they do this. Just say, ‘This feels like a projection,’ or ’This doesn’t ring true for me,’ and disengage. You need to stop trying to get them to see you. You are the one who needs to see you – to see that you are being projected onto and crazy-made.”



Wow! As soon as my guidance told me this, I immediately felt a deep sense of relief in my heart and soul. I saw the whole system in 3D, all the way back to the core pain I felt as a very small child, which I had to cover over because it was too big. I saw all that I had done over the years to avoid this existential pain, and that I didn’t have to avoid it anymore. Now, as a strong loving adult, I could lovingly manage this pain.

While I felt sad about all the years I’d accepted the projections, I felt joyful that I now understood something that had always caused such pain and confusion for me. I knew that I would never again allow anyone to project on to me the aspects of themselves that they denied.

Join Dr. Margaret Paul for her 30-Day at-home Course: "Love Yourself: An Inner Bonding Experience to Heal Anxiety, Depression, Shame, Addictions and Relationships."

Join IBVillage to connect with others and receive compassionate help and support for learning to love yourself.

Photo by Geralt


Send this article to a friend    Print this article    Bookmarked 0 time(s)
Bookmark and Share    Share with    submit 'The Crazy-making of Projection' to digg Share with Digg    Share with StumbleUpon
There are no videos, Click to add one to the gallery!
There is no audio, Click to add audio to the gallery!
There are no pictures, Click to add one to the gallery!


More Help

Looking for help with The Crazy-making of Projection?

Search for solutions on The Crazy-making of Projection within the website using Google's Site Search.


Daily Inspiration

Do you have a dream? Are you following your dream? Are you spending some time each day manifesting your dream? Life has aliveness when you have the courage to follow your dreams.


Explore More Inner Bonding



Do you have a dream? Are you following your dream? Are you spending some time each day manifesting your dream? Life has aliveness when you have the courage to follow your dreams.



Inner Bonding Events

All Inner Bonding Events