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Choosing Love

By Shelley Riutta
December 20, 2007

In this article Shelley Riutta MSE, LPC Inner Bonding Facilitator and Holistic Psychotherapist shares her experience of one of her mentors, Reuben, who so clearly walked a path of love and transformed lives as he did this.

Last night I was thinking about my 89 year old friend Reuben.  Reuben passed away about 4 years ago but made a profound and lasting impact on me and those he came into contact with.  Reuben did not have a college education but he had a Ph.D in Love.  He was one of the most loving people that I have ever encountered--love just radiated from his very being.  He knew at a deep level that most important thing in life was to share love with others.  I remember one time when we were visiting my Dad and Step-Mom and Reuben turned to my Dad and said in a booming voice "There is nothing more important in the world than love, nothing!"  My Dad had a startled reaction from the strength and clear conviction in which Reuben said this to him.  It was interesting that he shared this with my Dad in particular.  My Dad, in his essence, is a very loving person but because of painful events of his past he had numerous ways he keeps those he loves at a distance---there is a wall. If you asked him what was most important in his life he would say his family and his wife---yet where he channels his energy---tells a different story.  Keeping a distance and not letting those he loves in too close is what is most important to him because that is what he spends his time doing---avoiding connection.  He has chosen safety over love.  The path of his Wounded Self.Being with Reuben gave me a clear picture of what life is like when you choose Love over safety.  There was warmth and connection---fun and laughter---tears and working things out.  There was a fullness and richness to his life that filled him with Joy.  Reuben had never seen a therapist or attended a personal growth workshop---he seemed to intuitively get what led to happiness--and that was love and connection.  He was so present when you were with him---it was like every molecule of his being was clearly focused on you--- there was no distracted energy.  If there was a conflict in a relationship he wanted to work it out right way---in a way that created learning and understanding.  He and I had different spiritual beliefs but he taught me the love between people transcended their differing beliefs---and if the love was the priority there could be a loving exchange of different ideas and perspectives.  So often I would be in a session with someone and I would think "I wish Reuben were here to talk with this person"---because he got so clearly what most of us seem to lose along the way---and that is with love as your guiding light everything becomes clear. What will you choose today---Love or Safety?

Shelley Riutta MSE, LPC is a Holistic Psychotherapist in private practice specializing in Inner Bonding and Transformational individual counseling, presentations, groups and Workshops.  For more information and to get her free workbook “What Do You Really Want: Finding Purpose and Passion in Your Life” visit her web-site or call her at 920-265-2627. 


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Most of our judgments of others are projections of our own inner upsets and self-judgments. Notice your judgments toward others. How are they projections of your own inner insecurities and fears?


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Most of our judgments of others are projections of our own inner upsets and self-judgments. Notice your judgments toward others. How are they projections of your own inner insecurities and fears?



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