Do You Have Trouble Making Decisions?By Dr. Margaret Paul
August 11, 2014
Does the fear of making a mistake immobilize you when you need to make a decision?
Do you ever have trouble making decisions? Which rug to buy for your floor? Which couch to choose? What color to paint your walls? What you feel like doing on your days off? What kind of work you really want to do? Where to go for a holiday? Whether or not you are in the right relationship? What to eat?
Making decisions can be difficult, but we make it especially hard when we try to decide just from our mind rather than including our heart and soul. The arrogant mind often thinks it can figure out the "right" answer.
Barbara, who works as a paralegal, was complaining in our phone session about the decisions she had made regarding furniture. She and her husband recently redecorated their home and she was quite upset with the result. "I messed up on every decision I made. Not one thing came out right. How could I mess up 100% of the time? I have a few more things to get and I'm afraid to make any decisions."
I asked her where she made her decisions from - her mind or her inner experience. She had no idea what I meant by making decisions from her inner experience.
"Barbara, when I have a decision to make, like which carpet to pick for the floor, I open myself to my deeper experience. I notice how it feels to be with this color, this texture. My feelings generally let me know what is right or wrong for me. Since there is never just one right answer, I need to go by what feels good inside. My mind has no idea about what brings me joy, what feels fulfilling to me, what is esthetically pleasing, what feels peaceful. My mind is too filled with “shoulds ” to know what is right for me.
"I tune in to my body and I feel my inner experience. If my body feels calm, peaceful and joyous, with a sense of rightness, I know I am on the right track. If my body feels any agitation or sense of unrest, I know I'm on the wrong track. By staying tuned in to my feelings, I find I can make decisions that are right for me quickly and easily."
For me, making decisions is a creative process. My mind doesn't know anything about creativity. My mind is logical, rational, and thinks it can logically decide on what is right or best. Yet those who are involved in a creative process, such as writing or painting, know that they have to open to their inner experience and their higher guidance. They have to open to Spirit and allow truth and creativity to be expressed through them.
Spirit often speaks to us through our inner experience, our feelings. Spirit also speaks through images and thoughts that pop into our mind. Making the right decisions for us is about tuning in to our feelings and being aware of the thoughts and images that come through us.
People often get stuck in not knowing what their life purpose is - what work would bring them joy. Too often they are trying to make this decision from their mind, rather than tuning in to their feelings and experiencing what would bring them joy. When you work with Inner Bonding and learn to be mindful of your feelings in Step One, you may discover the things that excite you. True work is that which is fulfilling and brings you joy. How can you know what this is when you are trying to figure it out with your mind? Fulfillment and joy are not thoughts - they are inner experiences that we feel when we are on the right track. When you feel fulfillment, peace and joy, you know that Spirit is with you, guiding you in your highest good.
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|Learning from our Mistakes|
|Fear of Failure|
|Making Choices from Your Wounded Self vs your Loving Adult|
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Today, ask yourself throughout the day, "What does my inner child need from me as a loving Adult to feel safe in interactions with people? Does my child need me to not take rejection personally? Does my child need me to stay strong in my truth and not give myself up to anyone?" Focus today on creating a safe inner space for your inner child to feel connected with others.
By Dr. Margaret Paul