Loving Yourself Can Heal FearBy Dr. Margaret Paul
March 27, 2017
Discover how developing your loving adult, your spiritual connection, and learning to love yourself heals fear.
"I believe that anyone can conquer fear by doing the things he fears to do, provided he keeps doing them until he gets a record of successful experiences behind him." ~Eleanor Roosevelt
I know from my own experiences that what Eleanor Roosevelt said in the above quote is very true.
I used to be scared to speak up for myself or speak my truth, and now I do it easily.
I used to be afraid of public speaking or doing radio or TV shows, and now I do these easily.
I used to be scared to be in my power, and now it's natural for me.
I used to be afraid of confrontation and conflict, and now I welcome these experiences in order to learn from them.
I used to be scared that if I opened to learning with my higher guidance, there would be nothing there, and now I know that I'm never alone and am always being guided.
I used to be afraid of my deeper painful feelings, and now I embrace them with love and compassion and allow them to move through me. I now know that I can lovingly manage them and that they won't overwhelm me.
- I used to be afraid to write, and now writing flows easily.
We can't talk ourselves out of fear, which is what our ego wounded-self tries to do. When we choose to operate as a loving adult with a strong motivation to love ourselves, then we don't put our inner child out there alone to do something we are afraid of doing.
For example, when I first started public speaking and teaching – before Spirit brought us Inner Bonding - I was very scared of not knowing what to say or of forgetting what I wanted to say. I was scared that I would get so nervous that I wouldn't be able to talk. After I started to practice Inner Bonding, I realized that I had been putting my inner child out there to do the teaching. Of course she was scared! It was not a job for my inner child!
Now, before I speak or teach or do a radio or TV show, I make sure to tell my inner child that this isn't her job – that it's the job of my loving adult allowing my higher self to speak through me. Instead of trying to control what I say, I surrender to my higher guidance and allow her to be the speaker and teacher.
After doing this many times, the fear went away.
Healing Fear Through Loving Yourself
The more my inner child knows that I am here loving myself through fear, the safer she feels with things that used to feel very scary. Healing fear through loving myself means:
Consistently showing up as a loving adult so that my inner child doesn't feel alone with scary things.
Being willing to do the scary things over and over until the positive experiences become part of my neural pathways.
Letting my inner child know that it's okay to make mistakes and to fail, and that my worth and lovability are not attached to outcomes.
Valuing my willingness to try new and scary things so that my inner child feels valued for the effort rather than for the outcome.
Being compassionate rather than critical with my feelings when things don't turn out the way I want.
- Letting go of having to know ahead of time whether or not something is best for me and being willing to trust what I want and the information I receive from my guidance regarding what is in my highest good – willing to go with the flow of life rather than trying to control it.
I encourage you to start doing what you want to do rather than allowing fear to stop you, and see what happens!
Join Dr. Margaret Paul for her 30-Day at-home Course: "Love Yourself: An Inner Bonding Experience to Heal Anxiety, Depression, Shame, Addictions and Relationships."
Join IBVillage to connect with others and receive compassionate help and support for learning to love yourself.
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It's a challenge to take responsibility for our own feelings when we are alone, and even more of a challenge when we are with others. Today, notice the various ways you make others responsible for your feelings - not speaking up, saying yes when you mean no, blaming, feeling hurt, waiting, people-pleasing, getting angry, withdrawing, numbing out, punishing, and so on. Just notice without judgment.
By Dr. Margaret Paul