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Loving Yourself Heals Anxiety

By Dr. Margaret Paul
August 14, 2017

Discover how you are creating your anxiety and what to do about it.

There are a number of major causes of anxiety, and all of them are related to various forms of self-abandonment.

Anxiety and Emotional Self-Abandonment

If you were to ignore a crying baby or child, that baby or child would feel alone, abandoned and anxious. If you judge a child, the child will likely feel anxious. When you ignore or judge your own feelings, your inner child feels the same way. Anxiety is often the way our inner child lets us know that we are abandoning ourselves rather than loving ourselves. The anxiety is saying, “I’m scared and I feel rejected when you, my loving adult, are not here for me – when you ignore me by staying in your head rather than with me in your body, or you try to numb my feelings with addictions, or when you make someone else responsible for my feelings. I feel anxious and pressured when you judge me and tell me I’m not good enough or that I have to be perfect.”

Loving yourself emotionally means doing Inner Bonding whenever you feel anxious, or when you feel anything other than peace and fullness within. It also means getting professional help for anxiety stemming from childhood abuse or past trauma. Avoiding healing past abuse and trauma is a form of self-abandonment.

Anxiety and Physical Self-Abandonment

Recent research has now proved that an imbalanced, toxic gut causes toxicity in the brain, which can result in anxiety. When you abandon yourself by eating factory-farmed and processed foods, as well as taking various drugs, you deplete your beneficial intestinal bacteria while feeding the opportunistic toxic bacteria. The toxicity in your gut then goes through the vagus nerve into the brain.

If you are not drinking enough pure clean water, or you are eating sugar and carbs at night that might be causing low blood sugar, then you might be waking up at night with anxiety. When we don’t have enough water or our blood sugar is low, adrenaline kicks in to make sure the brain has what it needs, and the result from the adrenaline is anxiety.

A lack of exercise can also cause anxiety.

Loving yourself physically means learning how to eat for your particular body, getting enough exercise, getting good sleep, and drinking enough good clean water.

Anxiety and Financial Self-Abandonmen

When you overspend and put yourself in financial jeopardy, or you are so tight with your money that you don’t let yourself enjoy life, you will likely feel anxious. When you obsess about money, allowing your wounded self to scare you about the future, you will feel anxious.

Loving yourself financially is making sure that you earn enough money to take care of your needs, not putting yourself into credit card debt, letting yourself enjoy your life when the money is there, and staying in the present rather than obsessing about the future.

Anxiety and Organizational Self-Abandonment

When you are always late, when you procrastinate, and when you allow a lot of clutter, you are likely creating anxiety.

Loving yourself means learning to show up as a loving adult regarding your time and space, rather than putting your resistant wounded self in charge.

Anxiety and Relationship Self-Abandonment

When you give yourself up to people-please others – trying to get approval rather than learning to love yourself, or you give your inner child to another person to make you feel loved and safe, you will likely feel anxious. When you try to control others into giving you what you need to be giving to yourself, you may be creating anxiety.

Loving yourself in relationships means speaking your truth and then either moving into an intent to learn in conflict, or lovingly disengaging to take care of yourself. Loving yourself means taking full responsibility for your own feelings and learning to fully accept others. Loving yourself means being kind to yourself and others.

Anxiety and Spiritual Self-Abandonment

When you resist opening to your higher power for the love, compassion, wisdom and strength that you need to take loving care of yourself, you will likely feel anxious and alone.

Loving yourself spiritually is learning to stay open and connected with your higher guidance so that you can know how to take loving care of yourself in all of these areas.

You will find yourself feeling peaceful and full rather than anxious when you learn to love yourself rather than continue to abandon yourself emotionally, physically, financially, organizationally, relationally and spiritually.

Join Dr. Margaret Paul for her 30-Day at-home Course: "Love Yourself: An Inner Bonding Experience to Heal Anxiety, Depression, Shame, Addictions and Relationships."

Join IBVillage to connect with others and receive compassionate help and support for learning to love yourself.


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Daily Inspiration

The highest experience in life is to share a circle of love. A circle of love occurs when your heart is open with another whose heart is also open. A circle of love replenishes the soul. Today, create a circle of love with Spirit, nature, animals and with people who are available to sharing love with you.


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The highest experience in life is to share a circle of love. A circle of love occurs when your heart is open with another whose heart is also open. A circle of love replenishes the soul. Today, create a circle of love with Spirit, nature, animals and with people who are available to sharing love with you.



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