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Dreaming Self

By Ivanka Jankovic
June 12, 2010

There are many ways we hold back our dreams. Sometimes we are conscious, but many times we are not. We are doing that consciously when we rationalize and say:
I cannot do that.
I am too old.
It is too late.
It is pie in the sky.
It is not that important.
Subconsciously we hold our dreams back when there are deep unhealed false beliefs that are telling us that we have some kind of limitation. We are not good enough. We are not talented enough. It is not our time yet. Or we need to work very hard.
We adopted false beliefs when we were very young. We expressed our dreams and visions freely, and instead of being supported we got squashed, judged or ridiculed by our caregivers, teachers or friends. They did not allow themselves to dream so they could not support us as well. Some of them got angry or sometimes very threatened by our wishes and dreams.
Were you told?
How you dare to ask for that?
I do not have this and that.
I had to give up so much.
Who do you think you are?
Stop dreaming. Hard work is the only thing that matters.
This lack of support runs through many generations. Every family has a specific pattern.
As children we had a choice to either pursue our dream and lose others, or forget our dream and lose ourselves. Most of us had to go with a second choice. We also had to swallow the pain that was inflicted on us at that time. And this is how our wounded self came into existence with a task to protect us from hurt, pain and heartbreak
Once we silenced our dreaming self, also a source of our creativity and magic, it goes into hiding and stops sharing. This is the main reason why so many people say: I do not know what I am passionate about. What if I do not have passion at all? I do not know what brings me joy. What if I have to work really hard to figure it out?
If you want to reconnect with your dreaming self you need intent and discipline.  You must be willing to stop following dreams that belong to others. You must be willing not to fall under the spell of people who are telling you what you need to do and how. No matter how hard you try to follow what others are telling you still joy and magic will be lacking from your life.

You must be willing to heal false beliefs and become an adult that the child needed to begin with. The adult who is loving, caring, attentive, gentle, curious, supportive and safe. Dreaming self will not show up after a few times when you were in a good and supportive mood. Remember it went hiding as there was no consistent support and safety. However if a loving adult offers a loving hand many times it will accept it. You will experience a boost of joy and good energy. Suddenly you will know what you like, and what you REALY like. There is clarity, and all kind of ideas pop up in your mind. You will remember all the things that you have put aside with explanation: Once time is right.
As dreaming self becomes more visible in your life your wounded self gets triggered. Wounded self always believes it is not safe enough to truly express dreams. After all wounded self does not want you to get hurt, betrayed and disappointed again. It is loving adult's responsibility to talk to this child and explain that time has changed.  Dreaming self will not share dreams with others but with her and guidance, and both of them are so looking forward to hear them. This calms down wounded child.  Yet she stays on guard just in case.
Sometimes dreaming self needs your permission to fully shine the light out.
Here is the permission that I have written to my dreaming self since she was still very hesitant to fully express herself.
Sweetie you do not need to hide any more. Your hiding is over. I give you permission to be who you are. You can have anything you want. You can share anything with me. You can express your dreams. I will fully support you, and I will listen to you. I will be there every step of the way. I am interested to hear what you would like to share. 
It is your time now to play, enjoy and relax. You do not need to wait for anyone else until their dreams come true. You are not responsible if they get triggered and feel threatened. People who do not embrace their dreams, will always get triggered by someone who dares to dream and I will handle those situations. You just need to be fully yourself. Shine out your light. We are welcoming you. You are safe, loved and supported.
When you reconnect with your dreaming self and start following your deep dreams Spirit steps up to help. You will meet people that are on a similar path and love to support others and their authentic dreams. And that is true magic.


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