Anger: The BlockerBy Sharon Appleby
October 24, 2016
Feeling stuck in your healing process? Not dealing with your anger could be the cause.
I have noticed a theme among my clients - fear and shame of their anger. There seems to be a stigma attached to anger based on their own experience and a societal judgment.
When starting to deal with my own anger I had a very similar experience. I had a lot of judgment about other people’s anger and great fear of my own father’s anger and rage.
I did not want to admit that his anger also lived inside of me. The fear and denial stopped me from doing the healing work I needed. I tried to sugar coat my anger by brushing it off and not accepting that it was coming out sideways to the wrong people and with a strong energy!
Not until participating in an anger management weekend many years ago did I begin to understand the importance of dealing with my anger, and that I was not a bad person or unlovable because of it. I learned from others in the group, as they released their anger in a responsible way, that their anger opened up and unleashed their hidden pain and sadness, which had been stuck inside. Anger was the façade for their pain and sadness most likely caused by the helplessness they felt often as a result of others unloving behavior towards them. This seemed to open up the door for self-compassion for what they had endured in their life.
My wounded self resisted a lot. It did not want me to discover the truth about my anger and what it had to tell me. My false beliefs told me I was a terrible person and that I better keep a lid on my anger and rage or else others will hate me. I tried to control it by sweeping it under the rug, but felt stuck and unhappy in my life. When I started to accept my anger and learned how to deal with it I opened up and felt less blocked and was then able to feel some peace and joy!
As some of my clients have begun to explore and come to terms with their anger, they have started to feel changes within themselves. They have felt less stuck and more able to progress in their Six Step Inner Bonding healing process, bringing some relief and more joy with their work.
Releasing my anger has been uplifting and liberating as I started to understand that this wounded part of me had much to share about my core essence and healing.
Acceptance of my anger was the first step!
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Tune into your body and be present with this moment. If there is sadness and loneliness, welcome and embrace it, bringing the love of Spirit to these feelings. Allow them to flow though you and release them to God, then invite in the love, peace and joy that is Spirit.
By Dr. Margaret Paul