DAILY INSPIRATION

Every kind act to yourself adds kindness to the world. Every kind act to another adds kindness to the world. We each have the power to change the world through our individual acts of kindness to ourselves and others. We are not powerless to bring about a more loving world, but the changes must start within you.

By Dr. Margaret Paul
 
 
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1258 QUESTION(S)
Question
Hi, I was wondering what your take is on subliminal messages and/or brainwave therapy. I am making great progress connecting with spirit and strengthening my LA, but I'm intrigued by the idea that I could speed up the process by eliminating some of my subconscious negative chatter. (Which there is plenty of!) I've used brainwave CDs on a delta frequency to get to sleep and they work wonders, so I'm relatively confident that alpha and theta waves can't do any harm. I guess it's the subliminal message part that I'm most curious about--would listening to positive affirmations on a frequency that only my subconscious can hear have any effect, negative or positive? Thanks!
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 09/01/10
I would like to know what causes verbal abuse, I was verbally abused for years by my husband, I have only come to realized that now I always made excuses for it, he always said things like go jump off a bridge, no one likes you, no one will ever love you, and if I have a complaint as to why he is going out to a bar 4 nights a week I really get it, his answer has always been the same I ll do what I want when I want, I now suffer from ptsd, I guess my question is how do I forgive someone who has caused me to be so sick, I am terrified of the world and I hate it, I was also sexually molested by my father and kicked out of my home by my mother at 16.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 09/01/10
I've just started back to work full-time after 4 years of not working mixed with part-time work. I felt it the right thing to do to accept this position since no other one has been offered to this point. I had doubts about this particular job but felt it was responsible as we truly need the income. The gossip, complaining, and back-stabbing in this office are very disturbing, very hard to be around. Each day I go in determined to be loving to myself and to stay clear of the dangerous current, but I come home feeling exhausted, disappointed, and unfulfilled. I'm not sure how to deflect some of the conversation that is aimed at me or going on around me. I don't want to alienate myself or seem as if I'm "holier than thou," but this atmosphere is toxic! How can I be good to myself and others? Just remove myself when the malicious conversation begins and keep my mouth firmly closed while trying to remain positive about things..?
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/31/10
Hi - I am having an incredibly difficult time making a decision, about something that should be positive. Each choice would likely be fine, but I feel tortured by going ahead and trying to decide which way to go. It is as if I can't make the decision, or fear really negative repercussions if I make the wrong choice. Thanks.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/30/10
okay me again, I am feeling very angry this morning, it is concerning my return to work . I have been gone for 7 months now and someone else has been running my side of the business, my fear is that when I return this person who I can tell has an aggressive personality will try to control me even though I am the owner, my husband is co owner and they always see him as the boss not me, even though I am the one who works in it. I let one person go because he stormed out on me one day and then he wanted to come back, I no longer felt like I could use him because my anger was coming from having to carry him, anyway he went to see my husband and my husband brought him back in, how do I go back there, it is making me really sick just thinking about it.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/30/10
I would like to know why people smoke pot, is it just for fun or are they trying to cope with there feelings, or numb them, Im not sure why but I am really turned off by people who smoke pot.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/30/10
what do you do when your soul is dying to do different things, and you have no one to do them with, or to share with. I have no friends, and my sisters dont like the same things, and neither does my husband for instance I would love to go white water rafting, hot air balloon, but I dont know anyone to go do these things with, I dont even have anyone I could go to a museum with, or camping, everyone I know does nothing but drink,
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/29/10
I understand how to avoid emptiness and loneliness by doing things that are loving to myself, but my question is why is it okay to do everything alone is it not important to have people to share things with you keep saying you cant get these things from someone else but what about just sharing the day with someone who is full of love also, I have no one in my life like that so I do feel lonely not empty or alone just lonely, how do we meet people who are in love with themselves and want to share in life.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/29/10
Hi I guess my question is how do I know how to take loving care of myself, is it about exercise and eating right, going for long walks, volunteering, I have been doing all of these things, but I still find myself feeling empty at times, I still worry about my weight and can be quite hard on myself about it. I avoid places because people I know might see the weight I have gained. I have always had a great figure but have lost it because of menopause and I hate it, I almost feel like people will be happy that I gained weight because I never had that problem, why do I self loath about something so stupid, and why do we as women get all of our worth by how we look how do I take loving care regarding this. I am surrounded by women where I work that have had boob jobs, are very skinny and it makes me feel ugly at times.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/29/10
Can you get a different answer from your Inner Child than from your Guidance? If I ask my Inner Child what is loving to you right now? Can she reply one thing and then ask my Guidance and get another answer? Thank you.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/28/10
Hi Margaret, I'd like to ask a question that I'm hesitant to ask but it keeps coming up, so I'd like to get your input. When I was little, until about age 7 or so, I used to take baths with my father which was not an uncommon thing to do in the country where I'm from (though my father is American). He would help me wash my body. I especially remember him washing my vagina with his finger. It didn't seem sexual in any way, but I remember it feeling really rough, taking his finger back in forth (he has big fat fingers and isn't exactly the most graceful at doing things with this hands), but I just assumed that that's what he needed to do to make sure I was all clean, and I think that's what he assumed, too. I never thought it was a big issue, but I've always remembered it and it seems to keep coming up lately now that I'm dealing with issues of emotional incest that I experienced with him. Is this something worthy of addressing or could I be making too big a deal of it?
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/28/10
me again I guess my question is why have I been pulling away from everyone, especially my husbands friends, I no longer want to be around them is that me being judgmental or is it that I feel like I have nothing in common with them, they are heavy drinkers, and they do illegal activity they are always pleasant to me but I find myself nervous around them like I dont know what to talk to them about, Im not sure what this is but I pretty much cant handle being around anyone anymore. I will only do safe activities like the theater or I have to be with family members, people who wont hurt me I guess any suggestions how to get back out there.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/28/10
Hi my question is I was trying to help someone with inner bonding and asked them to look inside for that inner child and they said they saw no one, I thought everyone had an inner child , could you please explain why he saw nothing.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/28/10
I recently broke up with someone who was clearly not right for me. Red flags went up as soon as I met him, but my wounded self took over and I found myself in a relationship with him for about a year. IB has helped me figure out alot about myself but sometimes I still get into things that are not good for me. I always figure it out but want to do that before I get involved. The problem is this now: I recently found out he was talking to some younger girls on FB,to me it was very inappropriate conversations especially when he keeps telling me I was the best thing that happened to him and how much he loves me (bull crap) I do not have anything to do with him. But I find myself going into his FB account to see what he is saying to these girls,it only makes me upset but more determined to stay away from him,is there another way for me to process this and shut this negativity out. I keep ruminating in my mind about this, I know this can be a form of control. help!
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/28/10
Hi, I had a realization today in therapy. I am judging myself for not being in the intent to learn! How do I overcome self-judgement? I get so stuck in it that I begin to not even see it or see a way out of it. I judge myself for judging myself. I realized today that it's not working to try to "pry" myself into an intent to learn. But I do not know any other way to approach it? Thank you.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/27/10
Do you think not knowing who you are as a result of blunt emotional abandonment and neglect in childhood can be considered a trauma?
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/27/10
Does my inner child speaks to me in my dreams? The feelings I experienced lately in couple of my dreams was confusion, chaos, being ignored. Thank you.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/26/10
I watch a lot of TV news. It feels important to keep up with what's happening. Plus I am alerted to things that I can financially contribute to if I can. I contributed to the Pakistan flooding for example because a good ethical organization was working there helping, and I sent money to that organization. However my IC is distressed by the constant exposure to very bad things happening to other people. I keep thinking that "what if it happens to me?" I don't think I can continue this way. I still want to try and make a difference though, but in a different way. I am trying to tune into the world, but it is overwhelming for me at this point in time. Suggestions for handling this and doing the loving thing for other people? It is frightening to see so many millions of people suffering in various parts of the world. It makes me want to do something.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/26/10
How do I start with inner bonding. There are videos, books, cds, blogs, dvds, where does one begin to learn about this?
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/26/10
I have been feeling powerless over my inability to establish healthy authentic relationships with others. I have been feeling powerless to effect my own destiny, to have the kind of life I want, filled with good friends, meaningful work, and doing things that make a genuine difference in the world. I don't think that's the way I'm meant to feel. I guess I'm not feeling my LA at the moment. What am I missing? I seem to get stuck at feeling powerless and helpless, yet I see plenty of other people having the kind of life I want.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/26/10
In tonight's chat I was stuck in how it feels to be a Survivor, which really isn't much difference from being a Victim it seems. I'm left feeling like I need something more, that simply surviving isn't enough. What does being a Hero REALLY feel like? Can you help me imagine that? I imagine it takes having a loving adult who is connected to Spirit, but how does that feel inside?
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/25/10
I am finding myself feeling very jealous when people talk about the success/achievements of their children. While part of me can celebrate their kids' success, another part of me feel resentful that I can't say how great my kids are doing in school and extra-curricular activities, since they are not! I would love my kids to have some of the achievements that others do. Then I feel guilty that I am not loving, accepting and appreciating them for unique individual that they are. Any suggestions!
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/25/10
okay me again, my biggest issue right now is returning to work, every time I think of going back to that environment I feel a lot of anxiety and stress. I'm not sure if its because Ive been gone for so long, could be normal anxiety, or is it because it was a very stressful environment for me, drinkers, alcoholics, as well a being manager, I was very good at my job but it came at such a price, I dont enjoy being sexually harassed but it comes with the environment , I was also sexually abused so that doesnt help my question I guess is , is it my wounded child speaking and if so how can I help her to feel safe there , to not care what some of them say or do , I would be returning monday and I am very very anxious about it.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/25/10
"Are you afraid to be open with your partner and others?" Yes, I have lived my whole life that way and I now realize I took the easy way to keep the peace. Coming from a home with controlling mother I wanted my home to be peaceful. And now after many years I am facing the consequences and it is very sad for me. I hope others will pay attention to this article and see the damage that can be done to ourselves and the family. It is difficult not to judge myself but I have learned not to do that but I feel very sad. What would a loving adult say to her very sad IC and what would some loving action be to help get past these core feelings. I feel very alone addressing this within myself and would appreciate any help you could give me.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/25/10
Hi Margaret, Since my last session with you, a lot of space of opened up within me and I feel I'm able to function better without getting too bogged down with my emotions, which is wonderful! Thank you thank you. The problem now is, even though I feel more productive, there is just so much I feel I have put off that I feel overwhelmed and don't know where to start (namely, want to work toward a fulfilling career, exercise more, and find a partner). It's as if I got a new pair of glasses and now that I can see better, I can see how messy the house has been and how there is just so much to do before I can feel I'm at a comfortable place, and at my age, there's just not enough time to do all the things I've wanted to do and it feels very very sad. Can you give me some pointers as to how I can come to terms with the overwhelm of everything I want to do, where I should start in tending to these things, and the grief of feeling it's too late?
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/24/10
hello my question is every time I revisit my feelings I have alot of anxiety and almost get frozen to move, like Igo into a deep depression from so many memories I want to confront my past but I feel worse after it takes all my energy from me , I was diagnosed with pstd Im wondering if its ALL TO MUCH FOR ME.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/24/10
I have noticed recently that often when I am in public and somebody glances at me, I automatically turn my eyes away, I don't hold a look, glance etc. I think it was probably a way of protecting my IC from more possible abuse like which was endured in the past. Am I "hiding" my IC from the world by saying that she isn't worthy of being seen, not good enough to look at etc? Thoughts? I see that this has been a trigger for me in regard to my husband as well...he looks at everything, everybody, everywhere. A car turning out of a driveway, parking lot etc , he seems to "need" to see who/what is is. These are connected? the trigger of his actions to my beliefs about myself ? Thank-you
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/24/10
I've noticed that when other people don't achieve the result I expected from their work, I slide into blaming. I resist doing it, and am aware of the pattern, but unfortunately it still happens with people who are closest to me eg my family members, my husband, children. I feel bad, go back and apologise after I realise that I did it again, but I wish I didn't do it in the first place. I understand that this is a learned behavior - I was blamed a lot by my parents when failed to meet their expectations. How can I stop this destructive and hurtful behavior? Also, I heard you say that feeling bad or guilty is a wounded feeling - but in this instance it's giving me information that I was in my WS earlier, when blaming, right?
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/24/10
hello, me again my question is the advice I get is to love myself but what about having someone love you, I read that the soul dies without love, I have been without love for a long time my husband cannot love me he is very closed its like hugging a wall,my family members are the same, so am I suppose to stay with someone the rest of my life who cannot love me back.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/23/10
i have been ruminating about a past relationship lately, thinking about how loving it was at the beginning, how my partner must have seen something bad in me to have changed the way he felt. i know these are WS beliefs, which i am working to receive guidance on. do you have any comments on ruminating? is it a form of control? i find if i catch myself and gently note that i am ruminating it becomes less painful...
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/22/10
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