DAILY INSPIRATION

Every kind act to yourself adds kindness to the world. Every kind act to another adds kindness to the world. We each have the power to change the world through our individual acts of kindness to ourselves and others. We are not powerless to bring about a more loving world, but the changes must start within you.

By Dr. Margaret Paul
 
 
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232 QUESTION(S)
Question
I just felt that this was worthy of sharing :) I feel it to be so true....thanks! "Everything you see happening is the consequence of that which you are." Dr. David Hawkins: Psychiatrist, physician, spiritual teacher, and lecturer
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/25/10
Hi Margaret. I notice you have been recommending SelfQuest half a dozen times in your Qs and As. While I recognize the need to promote SelfQuest, I feel uncomfortable with paying membership already on a monthly basis, only to have this product presented to me as part of taking advantage of the Qs and As. I feel indignant and angry that when I am focused on trying to connect with myself, through the Qs and As (which have been very helpful), that I have a product pushed on me. It is also $1,000 which I cannot afford at all, and so it feels like it needs to be promoted, yes, as it is very helpful, but not as part of advice-giving in the Qs and As. Thank you.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/19/10
I've been looking for a new full time job since the beginning of the year to make ends meet. I may be offered a full time job at my current workplace but I didn't want to wait for that to happen so I kept looking. I went for a second interview for a job I really liked and thought I could do pretty well. I was really excited about the prospects but today I found out I didn't get the job. I ticked all the boxes except the one about working in a structured environment, which I don't agree with but anyway... I feel disappointed because I was so close, and it takes me energy to believe in myself. I am not taking this personally and I know something will happen soon but I get impatient sometimes and somehow it it affects my happiness. I wonder if this has to do with the law of attraction...
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/16/10
I have central pain syndrome. It's nerves acting up. I went off a medicine for it because of the side effects. Do you have any recommendations for healing it that are natural?
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 08/02/10
After reading your book on Inner Bonding and taking some time to evaluate myself I have become curious about CoDa. I realize now that a lot of my hurt over the years has been from Co-dependency. I see this film running of me doing and doing for my ex-girlfriend yearning for her to love my inner child, only for her to be angry with me and her feeling that my efforts were never enough. So I sent an e-mail to my local CoDa and hope the respond that they are LGBT friendly. So in your experience what are CoDa meetings like and what kind of support do they provide?
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 07/31/10
I recently got a poor performance review at work, which my supervisor e-mailed to me the day before she was to go on maternity leave. She then called in sick and e-mailed me to say that her manager would go through my review with me. I have never had a poor review before in my life and feel that the review has been negatively skewed. I am also upset by some of the comments that feel like an attack on my personality. It says that my clients don't find me to be very dynamic and that I don't have the confidence to make a decision. I have always been a more reserved and analytical person, but I am not incapable of speaking at meetings and have been in a managerial role for several years. I feel I can change some of my behavior, but that I can't change my personality. I am angry, hurt and trying to figure out how to respond, along with whether I should be looking for another job/career. Can you provide any insight as to what I can do to cope with this situation?
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 07/25/10
I would appreciate hearing your opinion. Do you agree with the following statement? Thank you. Love means never having to say you're sorry. God loves you, and that is why you never have to say you're "sorry" to God. If you love someone, relieve them of the need to apologize to you for anything. The need for an apology is the signal of a person who is mistaken about him-or-herself. You cannot be damaged by another, you only imagine that you can. It is all in your head. It is all in your thought about it. Go back to love and give up your need to forgive others for anything.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 07/22/10
Hi! I found a copy of "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" at a book sale. It's the 1983 version. Is this book still relevant & can it help me in my IB process as a single person? Are there any specific parts you'd recommend? I bought it with the hope that I could explore the intent to learn more. Thank you.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 07/17/10
Can you direct me to information about Lost Child Syndrome? I searched the site and didn't find anything. Thanks!
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 07/14/10
This morning I met a client of mine at a lab so she wouldn't have to be alone while she took a rapid test for HIV. We had a session the day before and she didn't have anyone she could ask to go with her because she hadnt been able to tell anyone that her best friend (a gay man) had recently been diagnosed with HIV. So I offered. I was really glad I met her at the lab and stayed with her calming her fears when she found out it was negative. She was low risk but was terrified they somehow had some kind of contact. I did not charge her for my time this morning. She had to pay out of pocket for the test and she is on a sliding scale fee with me. For some reason I feel ashamed to tell my colleagues or family about doing this in that I somehow crossed a professional boundary. I've never met a client outside the office before and not charged and it feels kind of strange to me. What do you think? Did I do the right thing?
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 07/01/10
Hi Dr. Margaret! I just wanted to tell you I finished the book 'Mindset', & wanted to thank you so much for telling us about this awesome book. I was amazed at how well it describes the intent to learn. The book goes along perfectly with IB, describing how some of us adopt a fixed mindset in childhood & how hard it can be (but still do-able) to leave it behind in adulthood. The book has really lit up my understanding of IB & how to approach it, not as a way to fix myself, but as a way to grow & learn about myself.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 06/13/10
are there such things as 'soul-mates'? does everyone have one?
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 06/11/10
do you have any articles about people who have the need to be respected and feared and have complete power?
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 06/05/10
I am a young black woman. I grew up in a neighborhood I hated and went to schools I never felt like I belonged to. In our culture it truly is survival of the fittest. I've seen some of the nastiest fights with people who show no remorse. I see people HATE on anything different. Prey on the weak. Being strong is being tough and I've never really been. around here it's dangerous to stand up for yourself and be who you truly are because that can come at a cost of your own life. It is affecting me to the point where I don't even wanna go outside and deal with ppl in general.I am scared, but I don't want to be. I know I can't control others bullying but then what can I do? Do you believe that if someone is truly authentic and true to themselves it can prevent bullying with a strong LA? I look at someone like lady gaga who puts herself completely out there and is loved anyways and think 'how does she do it?' its tough overcoming fears of being in the hood when it's dangerous.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 06/03/10
i know we harm ourselves by judging ourselves, but how do we harm ourselves by judging others? just a general question.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 05/30/10
I have read many times that withdrawing is unloving behaviour. Why is it unloving? Thank you.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 05/27/10
I am interested in attending a day-long energy retreat where I will learn about starting a spiritual practice, do yoga, and meditate with chanting. The retreat is outside my comfort zone but I suspect it would be a good growth experience, and my little girl seems excited to go. But it costs $120 for the day. This is very expensive for me, but I do have a savings account. My question is whether to ask the retreat leader to tell me about her sliding scale pricing. I do not make much money and land on the lowest possible end of my therapist's sliding scale, but I work hard and it's true I could use my savings and therefore don't "need" a discount. I know the teachers deserve to be paid well and I don't want to cheat them, but this is still a luxury expenditure--I need my savings for more pressing issues--so I also don't want to pay more than I have to. Also, it's true I'd be more willing to take the risk if it were less of a financial risk. What is the philosophy behind a sliding scale?
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 05/19/10
Was the communist Govt: of former Soviet Union an example of a caretaker system in IB process? I guess the basis of communism is that the state Govt: is the caretaker of the citizens of the state and the Govt: 'protects' people from insecurity.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 05/18/10
I have a question. When people tell me who I am or try to make me feel like I'm wrong when i don't feel like I am it doesn't sit well with me. I feel like I'm always trying to change and prove that I'm not selfish, irresponsible, or negative and I have to censor myself around everyone. Sometimes I think why should I care of how people perceive me? Even with you sometimes. I feel like you just see me as this girl who doesn't wanna take responsibility for her feelings. Well right now I know I'm doing something wrong but I don't know what it is. I really don't. I can't even identify my feelings.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 05/08/10
My Inner Bonding process has given me so much hope even though I have many days of being so caught up in my WS and unable (unwilling?) to find my Guidance. There are days I am truly suicidal, although I have days of clarity and peace. This is a frightening roller-coaster. Seeking a facilitator is out of the question now as we struggle to make ends meet. I am considering going on antidepressant medication. Will psychotropic meds hinder my Inner Bonding in some way (perhaps suppressing parts of self - WS, CS, IC, etc.)?
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 05/05/10
I am finding during the last few days, at times the Inner Bonding website is loading painfully slowly. I am not sure whether a post or comment I send is going to show up. Is this problem being looked upon?
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 05/03/10
Actually, what are the differences between expectations, needs, and hopes?
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 04/19/10
What's the difference between expectations and needs?
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 04/19/10
What has to happen to make this world a better place? Seems like social darwinism is the order of the day for those in power.What if one can't find a way to get in the race?Does that mean these unfortunates have no way to become "loving adults"-taking full responsibility for their life trajectory? It's like giant logs have been lifted everywhere and all manner of insects/creatures are scrambling,there are no rules,just survival of the fittest.What is your take on this whole thing?
Read the answer by Sylvia Poareo - 04/09/10
I work with a doctor who travels internationally by air and she usually has much difficulty with jet-lag. Can you describe the acupressure technique that can be used upon take-off/landing to alleviate jet lag? Thank you, Doris
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 04/06/10
Margaret: I find that I am struggling to focus my intent. I am working on staying open, but it seems I have an ulterior motive. I want to control how I feel, and when I feel better, and my logical mind keeps reverting to this control. I want so much to just focus on my body, and realign my intent. I try to have compassion for this stage, but I feel mostly frustrated. I know it takes practice. But I feel stuck in control. Do you have some advice on how to practice changing your intent? I really seem to be stuck here. Katie
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 04/05/10
You know how we can project onto others what our WS is really trying to communicate to our absent LA? I think the video about projected anger and the three step process the IB has is a good example of what I am talking about. My question is, do we sometimes do the inverted, vicariously try to heal an unknown wound in us through someone/something else? For example, someone who is in total denial about his/her child abuse is heavily involved in a non-profit organization that confronts child abuse. Or, someone who suffered extreme loneliness growing up has an extreme passion for abandoned orphans overseas. Or, someone who was raised in a crisis environment is highly committed to emergency response today or crisis intervention. If someone is totally out of touch with their woundeness, is it uncommon that they are trying to compensate for wounds needing healing vicariously?
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 03/24/10
I have been feeling very emotional lately. I am very easily touched by a kind word, a special greeting card, seeing someone treat another (or me) with compassion or kindness. Tears spring to my eyes unexpectedly and I start to cry (by now it happening so often I've come to expect it)! It's been a long time since I have felt the emotions of tenderness, or love, or joy. I don't know what has gotten into me and I feel a little out of control. My (previous) anger and resentment (at myself and others for having been a caretaker and given myself up) made me feel powerful, but these emotions leave me feeling very vulnerable. Your thoughts or suggestions are appreciated.
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 03/18/10
Can people sometimes get the words "responsibility" and "forgiveness" confused with the words "blame" and "caretaking" respectively? Do codependent people usually have a tendency to blame someone for how they feel and expect the other person to caretake thinking they are asking for the other person to take responsibility for their actions and ask for forgiveness?
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 03/17/10
Can you help me understand what it feels like to simply be missing someone? And how this can be confused with codependency? Where does the unhealthy codependency end and simply missing someone begin, and how can I measure this?
Read the answer by Dr. Margaret - 03/17/10
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A Testimonial

"An Intensive is an opportunity to get to know your issues and how to constructively heal in a safe environment.  The group environment creates a sense of family where mutual support, along with great love is very nurturing.  If you need a hug, come to an Intensive, get real with yourself and confront life's challenges.  You've nothing to lose and everything to gain!" Colorado Intenisve, 8/08

Carol L. Hannon,Retired
Anthem,Arizona
clhanthemDELETE_HERE@aol.com